rexx

Mentor : Triple Seven

2009-07-07T02:07:00.002+08:00

I just feel like posting a topic today.
It's with regards to my parents.
And also my Brother aka Mentor taught me as well.
It's quoted from Prophet Muhhammad (pbuh).
Not really quote, but just the information.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remember the Triple Sevens.

Well, not the Jackpot.
But Remember the Triple Sevens.
In raising your child.

~~~~~~~~~~~

From the time when he's born till he's Seven.

Give him/her unconditional love.
Don't make them feel hurt or sad.
Refrain from scolding them.
Be with them whenever you can.
Remember, Unconditional Love.

~~~~~~~~~~

From the age of Seven to the age of Fourteen.
If they disobey you, reason with them.
If they still disobey you, hit them.

But only with the strength of your two fingers.
Two Fingers.
Still, love them.

~~~~~~~~~~

From the age of Fourteen to the age of Twenty-One.
Be a friend to them, much less of a parent.
Don't block their flow of creativities.
Let them express themselves.
Don't just say "Yes", or "No".
Let them think.

Offer them into a small discussion.
Let them think, let them think, and let them think.
Give them both moral and physical support.
Maybe to the extent of financial support as well.
Reason with them more, let them think.
And still, Love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Share an unbreakable bond.

~~~~~~~~~~

Everything needs to be in a system, an Orderly manner.
You shouldn't put step 2 first and then step 1 last.
That's why most parents are teaching their kids "Wrongly".
Kids shut their "Door of Trust" tightly against their parents.

Simply, let me put my analogy here.

~~~

When a kid is born till he's Seven.
Love him unconditionally.
Let him make mistakes.
Don't punish him, let him be (to a certain extent).
And, Love him Unconditionally.
His Door of Trust will naturally be opened.

When he's Seven to he's Fourteen.
If he disobey, reason with him.
If he still disobey, beat him.
But only with the strength of Two Fingers.
And Love him still.
By stating reasons to him, he will understand things better.
And beat him so that he won't commit mistakes again.
His Door of Trust will quiver slightly, but however...
Little pain with more reasoning, can be a trusty servant.

When he's Fourteen to Twenty-One.
Be a Friend.
Offer him into discussions.
Support him whenever possible.
His Door of Trust will definitely, maintain, and grow overtime with you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's quite a way to maintain great ties with your parents.
But I guess whenever I voice my opinions, my parents just shut me down.
How I wish they could love me in a proper way.

Sometimes, I just blame my tradition and my racial cultures.
In a way, it affects my bloodline of generations before me.
Which incorporated to conservative-ness, and traditional thinkings.

Despite saying these, it's what makes the world different from one another.
God makes different communities, not for us to discriminate differences among ourselves.
But more of sharing ideas with one another.
Which makes life interesting.

~~~~~~~

My father told me that I should have a Girlfriend, Career...
and when I eventually have a Family,
that's when I should think of my Religion.

~~~~~~~

But right now, I confirmed that.
I should have a Religion as my base - a strong Foundation.
So that I could build these essential Pillars of my life.
And my religion is more than a religion...
It's a deen.
It's the way of life.
My way of life.

~~~~~~~
Credits : FlickR, Yahoo.
~~~~~~~

When I have my kid one day...
I know what to do...

A strong Father-Son bond.

~~~~~~~~

Assalamualaikum.
May my family be a better and stronger bond within us.
May you, too.

the way towards Islam (the start)

2009-06-30T03:52:00.003+08:00

I'm afraid that I'm in this ride alone.
No one telling me what to do.
Have little direction towards my destination.

No Man is an Island - a song my secondary school's choir sang before.
I don't have many friends who can stand by my side on this matter.
I don't know how long I can withstand it alone.

Though I know that I'm not alone...
It seems like there's no physical support from people around me.
Not so much of moral support as well.

Somehow I do wish there's someone beside me that can re-enforce what I'm learning.
Like a helpless bird in the sky, flying and flying.
Can't seek of a place to build a nest in peace.

I'm worried that I'm too spiritually active that I've become spiritually tired as well.
It's hard to strike out balance between my physical-self and my spiritual-self.

One part of me is striving towards my destiny.
And the other part is holding me back to prevent misery to my loved ones.
Either way, I'll lose.
I either give up what I'm pursuing, or they give in to what I wanna pursue.

Every choice requires sacrifice(s), it's whether these sacrifices are worth it.
I'm stuck up in a Dilemma.

I need someone to guide me. Really.
A brother, or a teacher.
Simply, a Mentor.

~~~

Less than a month to National Service.
I'm not looking forward to it.
Because I'm afraid that I will be the only one in the ride for the two years.
It's scary about the unknown.

Whatever I've just said here, I'm just ranting out my problems.
Now that I've typed them out in words, at least I know how to tackle them slowly.
Hope that every decisions, every sacrifices - is worth it.

~~~

Wassalam

Michael Jackson.

2009-06-27T03:01:00.003+08:00

Let's just talk about one hot topic now.

Yes. Let's just go through some parts of his major life events.
Not really specific but just a rough one.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jackson 5. that's when he was still a little boy.
All the way up till his adulthood, he become a Pop Star Icon.
A major influence to many.
Then his skin colour changed.
He was charged for paedophile cases.
He turned to Islam and became a Muslim.
He wanted to make a comeback.
But he died at the age of 50.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm not defending Michael Jackson because he's a Muslim.
But let me put into logical sense that I hope I could change your "bad" thinking about him.

He was ill-treated when he was little.
He said once that he'll never to treat his child, or any others to be ill-treated.
Only a slight devotion to kids, and there goes.
News Report : Michael Jackson, Paedophile of the New Age.

His skin became white all of a sudden.
Many said he went to plastic surgery, because others believed that he means white is domiant over blacks.
Some on the other hand, said he was badly sick.
His skin slowly turned white.
He was nausea and dizzy at most of the time.
News Report : Michael Jackson, the White Dominates and the Black.... Sucks?

~~~~

News can be a dangerous and produce fake informations about life events.
Misleading you like a confused person.
It's you that can make yourself clearer by doing some cross-referencing in the net.
And believe what is true to you.

We were once kids.
Surely, kids are easily prone to a certain trauma, phobia that leads to their adult life.
Michael Jackson is one good example.
He was suffered as a kid because of his parents.
He developed a trauma that if he had kids, he'll treat them nicely.
No doubt he will treat other kids likewise.

Just take me for an example.
My brother wasn't a good brother to me when I was little.
Slowly, I started to yearn for a "brother" out there to love me.
Or find a younger "brother" so that I could prove that I could be a better brother than he is.

This kind of trauma, phobia, etc is hard to kick away.
Especially when you are a kid, and you let this tumour grow.

If a kid was taught that money can buy everything in the world.
When he grow up, he can use money to bribe people, use money to do evil deeds and so on.

Everything is linked to common sense.
I believe most of you will believe in what i'm trying to say.

Personality is also nurtured from young.
But one thing is for sure.

We are born with a kind heart.

~~~~~~~

People just accepts what the news is trying to potray, EASILY.
People also tend to generally ASSUME.
And in the end, they just accept what looks easy to them without much thoughts.

I'll always try to be in a neutral party.
I won't deny any possibility that is logical.
So I try not to jump to conclusion whenever I could.

But sadly, people are doing the opposite of what i'm trying to do.

I feel sad for my used-to-be best friend.
He rejoiced over Michael Jackson's death because there's one less paedophile in the world.
I just feel.... a sadness from him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When someone dies, let all the BAD be buried/burnt together with him.
And let all the GOOD live within our hearts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my once dear Best Friend... if you're reading...

When you start to humiliate others, you'll lose part of your humanity.
And when you sink in deeper, you'll be inhuman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assalamualaikum.
Peace to everyone.
Peace to Michael Jackson - RIP.

Individual.

2009-06-25T04:42:00.002+08:00

...
...
During the Day of Judgement,
...
...
...

For those who embraced their desired Religion,
for the RIGHT attitude are worth complimenting.

For those who embraced their desired Religion at their last moment of breath,
Despite in their earlier part of their life they have knowledge about their Religion...
They are just shameless.

In Islam, once you testify the "Testimony of Faith", for new muslims, you'll be washed clean of all your previous sins.

In Christianity, once you put Jesus into your heart, you'll be washed clean of all your previous sins too.
(That's what I think, do correct me if I'm wrong.)

Had a friend who told me, he do believe in Jesus.
But he said that he would rather be a free thinker.
And when he's much older, he'll be a Christian.

~~~

What I'm trying to say is that.
You should never take advantage of God's Trust.
Once you know something about it, you shouldn't leave it undone.

You'll be like someone, who knows the law, and knows the loopholes of it.
And committing crimes.
Still, knowing the loopholes can make you become "sin-less" - get away from justice.

I hope when you're reading this, give a thought of your life.
Especially where you'll be putting your faith into.
Cling onto them firmly.
Despite it's better late than never, I prefer it - Better early than late.

Because when we're all stripped down to "nothing",
All of our souls will be gathered in front of God.
During the Day of Judgement,
We're as individual as our Finger Print.
All deeds and sins we did are clearly shown in our mind.
We are responsible for our own actions, - and thoughts.

Remember, no one can help you eat to make you full.
We're as individual as our Finger Print.

....................

Assalamualaikum.

chorus lyrics : .. =)

2009-06-22T02:13:00.003+08:00

Hey, today, I'll just be posting one of my lyrics up here.
Just came up with it.
It shall only be the chorus. (Well, kinda).
Just Four lines.
Feel free to comment.
Just a food for thought.
Anyone who can correct my English mistakes, gladly welcome! =)

~~~

What ever happened to the world's Humanity?
People's joy comes from another man's misery.
Who said live life to the fullest by hurting someone's Dignity?
Don't dip your heart with Satanic Slavery.

~~~

Hope you guys know what I'm talking about in this four lines.
It's kinda like my First Attempt on writing something other than Love Stories.
Any comments gladly welcome in my tagboard.

~~~

Assalamualaikum.
Peace.

Afraid to be... taken away.

2009-06-20T03:21:00.003+08:00

Finally, a post.
Bet not so much people will be reading anyway.
Still, just to update myself.

I'm AFRAID.
Afraid that I can't let go of my own temptations that SATISFY my Physical Self.
Which hinders my spiritual existence.

It has been going too long.
From young, it has been sucking life out of me.
Now that it has grown to be too big and too attached to me.
Like a parasite which only deals HARM to the host.
It's hard to pluck this threat off me.

Everyone says 'letting go' is the only way to free oneself from suffering.
But never do I know that some stuffs just cling on you like a Leech.
And hard to remove it.
It's not so easy like just washing dirt with clean running water.

I kept giving in to my temptations, unknowingly for half of my current life span.
Now knowing that this HABIT is going out of hand, and it's a bad one too...
It's hard to just unplug myself.

Just hard.
Just like the two words that contradicts each other.
Simply Hard to do so.

Despite showing my weak side this post, I still hope to deliver a message to you is that...
Never let a leech suck dry out of you.
You control them, and don't let it grow too big which then will be too hard to handle.
I hope I can control them - temptations.
I hope.

*****
I need some encouragements.
Everyone needs them.

~~~~~~~~~~

I'll promise to post soon again, insyaAllah.
Shalom Brothers/Sisters.

....

Still, giving a smile is a charity.
=)

Moderation.

2009-06-08T02:35:00.003+08:00

Today's Topic : Moderation vs Fundamental

~~~

Just Food for Thought.

This is not the symbol of Islam.
Never it is a symbol of Islam.
It's just a Legend of the Structure that indicates it's a Mosque.
Lemme share with you this.

I'm not just showing you a Turkey picture for nothing.
Please go find how the Flag of Turkey looks like.
Read up a bit of History, and you'll know why Islam and Turkey has such similarity.
(Pardon me, I heard about this.)
(and History-wise, on the surface, I know a rough bit only.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BACK TO TOPIC

How do you define someone by his profession?
For instances, let's take a carpenter.
Everyone knows what a carpenter does right?
Well, he uses wood to make stuffs - i.e. Chair, Furniture.

Can you address someone who has ample knowledge about carpentry - A carpenter?
Well, partly, yes.

Can you address someone who has ample knowledge about carpentry...
WITHOUT performing carpentry once - A carpenter?
Of course, No.

Someone with the knowledge, but without the skill, isn't something he is professional about.
He or She must at least perform and perform it well enough before he could confirm his profession.

Knowing about Carpeting MODERATELY
VS
Knowing about Carpeting FUNDAMENTALLY

Who would you ask to help you with your furniture?
Someone who knows Carpeting Moderately?
Or someone who knows Carpeting Fundamentally?

The answer is clear.

It brings to my actual topic for today.

The 9-11 Event.
But it's not about this event I wanna talk about.

It's...

Osama Bin Laden.

~~~

He's not a fundamentalist of Islam.
Islam is a Religion of Moderation.
While he, embraces Islam and knows Islam MODERATELY.

Every Muslim shouldn't learn Moderated Islam.
But they should learn Islam for Moderation.

~~~

Again, how do you define someone's profession?

Someone who have knowledge and have performed the skill professionally.

.

Now, how do you define someone who is a Muslim?

By doing his 5 times prayer, Don't do the Harams etc.

.

How do you define someone who is a Buddhist?

Obviously not because he is born a Buddhist.
He goes to temple, pray to the Buddha.

.

(Enough examples I suppose.)

~~~

Most importantly, is whether you have a sincere heart and a strong Iman (Faith) towards your God.

Yes, we should seek moderation in most things in life.

But when it comes to learning....
Don't be moderate, be a Fundamentalist.

~~~

Credits : YahooSearch, FlickR Search, Photobucket, Brother Ali Bani

~~~

I'll post soon again, InsyaAllah.
(Whatever it means, I'll explain in my next post.)
(Muslim Brothers/Sisters, if you think you know, please still read my next post.)
(Unless you know what it means, then it's fine. =)

Assalamualaikum Fellow Brothers/Sisters.
Peace to everyone who does/doesn't read this.
=)

2009-06-07T02:37:00.010+08:00

Today, let's just not talk about life theories and such.
Lemme share with you something...
A great experience.

Today's Topic : Memories

This video, Mei Poh did.
(Under this link, you have to login to facebook to view it)

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=185681880506&ref=mf
Great Times

Sorry it's not in youtube so I can't put it over here.
Makes me wonder how united our course is.
A mere small cohort of Diplomats, taking their passion as a Diploma.
All of us, who start from the very beginning, and ends at the finishing line...
Worth compliments.

All the good times
even when we are cursing and swearing when the deadline of assignments is nearing.
All the good times
even when the food court is super packed with other polytechnic students.
All the good times
even when we worked from 8am in the morning till 10pm+ in the night.

All these good times...
It's all worthwhile.

It's all worthwhile.

.......

Well all the good times I've remembered, let's just take some time to recall those bad times I've sinned.
But not to elaborate on them.
I don't wish to be washed clean from those sins.
Because it won't make me think that I've committed those sins.

Let me carry them, and let it be a reminder that this same Sin...
Will never be committed ever again.
Let it be a lesson through my heart and my body.
Never to commit the same sins again.

~~~

Credits : Leong Mei Poh - Top Student of DMAT the 2nd

~~~

A friend quoted this...
"Accept Rejections, and Reject Acceptance."

Assalamualaikum.
Peace.

Guitar life.

2009-06-03T02:14:00.002+08:00

Surely you know this instrument, it's obviously a musical instrument.
Who doesn't know?
I believe some of you are also players of this instrument.

Today's Topic : Tune the Guitar

Well, let's start by talking some features about this instrument, the Acoustic Guitar.
Just to let those who don't really know, have a rough idea.

From head to toe...

Right on top, it's called the Headstock, they have Tuners on them.
Then below the head, it's the Neck, and they have many frets on them.
And right in the middle, it's called the Guitar Hole.
Lastly, the SIX knobs below the hole, it's called the Bridge.

~~~

Back to the topic, it's about the Tuning of this instrument.
Today, my father asked me to change the strings on the Guitar.
It's been long since I've changed the strings of the Guitar.
I probably screwed up the previous time when I was doing it.
Still, he asked me to do so.

So how it is being done??? Just imagine there's no strings on the guitar.
Just imagine....

First, you have to remove a knob from the bridge.
Put one end of the string in there, and then insert the knob back.
Stretch the string towards the head.

Yes, and then you coil it around the tuner.
And you'll probably end up like this...

Wow, you have to admit that it's one nice coil.
And after you've done the first string...
Next will be the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth.

And then, you'll probably be just playing...

And after sometime...
The strings will become rusty, and then you have to put in new strings again.

~~~

Well, actually, the topic is not Tuning the Guitar...
It is...

Today's Topic : Tuning our Lives

We are like one knob controlling one string at a time.
And whatever we do, we'll stretch towards greater height to the Headstock.

And then we'll try not to mess things up.

And if things go well, you'll probably look stylish like the picture above.
And if things doesn't go that well... you're probably like... this below...

We all can't be perfect, but we try to make things as perfect as possible.
That's one gift, us Humans have.

And after you have been coiled nicely to the tuner.
You'll have to think of the other strings.

Just like the Guitar, it's a medium for us strings to co-exist.
Smiliar to the World, it's a medium for us Humans that we co-exist.

If you are a string on the guitar, you'd want to be as straight as possible.
As perfect as you can be.
Without making a mess such that other strings will find it hard to live together.

No matter what, we're still humans.
Everyone have flaws, and that what makes us different.
But we shouldn't amplify our weaknesses.
Each of us should deliver our own strengths to our audiences.
Resulting in a harmonizing Chord, where it's pleasing to the ears.

~~~

Credits : YahooImage Search, FlickR Searh.

~~~

Speaking about a Harmonizing Chord, everyone is co-existing in our world.
In a community, that's what Everyone Human Being should be....

(This image is from a Hajj, every Muslim (if possible), have to go to Mecca, and the Cube where every Muslim has to pray in the direction of.)

~~~

Assalamualaikun Brothers & Sisters.
Peace to everyone.

Let's go back to our roots.

2009-05-23T03:58:00.015+08:00

We were once...

Babies.

And right now, many of us are just...

Climbing higher and higher.

~~~

Today's Topic : Back to our Roots

And what humans like us are, always forgetting our fundamentals.
In terms of humanity, rationality, and innocence.
Humans always are blocked by personal prejudice, general assumption etc...
which clouds our personal judgement(s).

Allow me, to talk about our fundamentals.
Discuss upon any topic you find it hard to re-accept again.
Any topic you find it hard to remember.
Let me, take a...

Skydive together with you.
Back to our Roots where we all once lived there.
And re-live those moments in our current state.

~~~

Credits : YahooSearch, FlickR Search.

~~~

Upcoming posts, shall be posts regarding our Roots.
Hope more people could be active here. Hope more people are reading this. =)

Assalamualaikum.
Peace.

A Family, starts from you.

2009-05-19T01:54:00.172+08:00

Today's Topic : Family

When I decided to embrace Islam.
I told my parents.
And my father told me this.
Because he's a businessman outside, it will affect his name.
And my decision on my Religion will cause racial discrimination.
Between Chinese and Malays.
He said that I should decide my Religion later on in life.
Like after I have a spouse.
Or a job.
And of course, after a family.
Simply put it, when I'm old enough to do so.

~~~

By converting to a Muslim, I'm giving restrictions to myself.
I can't do the Haram (the Forbidden), like drinking alcohol.
And of course, I could only marry to Muslim lady/ladies.
Isn't it dumb that you restrict yourself this way?

~~~

Like what I've been trying to say here, Islam is a religion of Peace.
Islam is the way of life.
There's a lot of reasons why we can't do the Harams.

Let's take Drinking an example on why Muslim can't drink.
Drinking is an addictive consuming product.
Some may not like it, but some may get hooked to it.
As a result, drinking can cause many unhappy matters.
Drinking alcohol is simply drinking small dosage of poisons.
People usually drink in clubs/pubs wherever.
You might not know when and when someone might intoxicate your drink.
It can make one drunk, or make one terribly Knocked Out.
It harms not only your health, but the people around you.
You might even commit adultery without any coincious.

Prevention is always better than Cure.
If you ain't drinking, you're giving people and yourself, Peace.

And back to the topic...
On the surface...
I could only marry to Muslim lady/ladies.
The reason is that, if a family shares the same faith, the family will be strong.
If not, usually trival matters would occur.
BUT BUT BUT
Never convert on the accord of your companion who is a Muslim.
Convert on your own accord.
Change for yourself.

~~~

I've already started to think of my family, and my future wife.
By choosing my desired Religion, I've already done the best for my future.
Like any other man in the world, I would want my family to have these golds.
The gold of happiness, the gold of love, and the gold of Iman (Faith).
I want my family to be a Muslim Family.
I want the best for my family.

I wouldn't want to marry if my spouse isn't a Muslim.
And I won't start a family, if I don't have a Muslim companion.

Even if you and your spouse isn't a Muslim,
It's obviously better if both of you share the same Religion.
Christianity, Buddhism, etc.
That's one of the best ways to maintain ties within your family.

My future family, relies on ME, ME, ME!

~~~

Credits : YahooSearch, FlickR Image.

~~~

And now let me remind you again.

Everything starts from...

~~~

Assalamualaikum.
Peace.

Experienced before speaking.

2009-05-14T03:46:00.097+08:00

Today's Topic : Experiencing / Seeking Guidance

Always, in a game, there will be at least one... or more spectators.
But, the spectators are not in the game.

~~~

Spectators like to be the toaster above.
While the blender is a player in the game, spectators like to jeers at their misfortune.
And always a common line used by these spectators...
" if I were to play the game... i will surely totally own their asses!"

~~~

If the spectators were to play the game, they will know how difficult the game is.

~~~

Only this plant will experience, and will know it's optimum intake of nutrients, water, sunlight.
Only this plant will know when it's time to respire, and photosynthesis.
Other plants may not know how this plant reaction towards different situations.

~~~

.....................
...................
.................
...............
.............
...........

What I'm trying to say is simply one thing.

Don't just criticize, don't just comment, don't just judge on something you don't experience much.
Do some analysis, do some research, do some asking on people who are EXPERIENCED.
Don't just seek guidance from people who are older than you.
Seek guidance from people who have that EXPERIENCE.

~~~

We're human beings, and all of us have this great organ.

So don't shrink it down to a limited memory storage system.

~~~

So think, think and think.
Don't just assume, or take suggestions from people with no experiences at all.

My point is to tell you, don't assume Islam is a terrorist/barbaric Religion.
Although news is saying that, back to 9-11 event and all, don't just assume.
The media is a powerful source of transmitting informations.
True or False, the media wants you to think like the way it is.

You have a choice. You have a mind.
You can choose to be a memory storage.
OR
You can choose to be someone with a human brain.

Then, you'll understand situations better, and think better without prejudice.
Think, think and think.
Don't be too gullible to any source of information.
You have a MIND!
So use it and think whether that piece of information is true.

We don't see a lawyer or a doctor being a Judge for a singing competition.
We'll see experienced Professional singers or talent scouts in that competition.

~~~

Credits : FlickR, YahooSearch, Brother Bani Ali

~~~

You won't seek help from a lawyer when you're sick.
So seek guidance from people who is experienced in whichever aspect you need.

~~~

Assalamualaikum.
Peace.

reason why we should be devoted to only ONE God.

2009-05-09T02:58:00.067+08:00

Today's Topic : Devotion to One

Today, I was bored, and thought about Religions.
Many of us Chinese believe in many gods, Good, Bad, Whatever.
Seeking aid from every gods, as much as possible.
"Kiasu", is the word used to describe us.
No matter what, Chinese just want the best in whichever way Possible.

Let me just share with you something.

~~~~~

There is no god but God and Muhammad (PBUH) is the prophet of God. - Shahada
The Shahada is the testimony of faith every Muslims have to take.
And using what I've enlightened myself, (using logical terms)...
We all should be devoted to ONE God.
To me, it's obviously Allah.
To you, I hope at least you don't believe in Polytheism.

Just let me share with you, this picture.

~~~

We all should be devoted to our companion(s).
We all should be loyal to our companion(s).
Saying (s) is because Male Muslims are allowed to Marry more than one.
But why they can Marry more than one?

"Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one." [Al-Qur’an 4:3]

Because you have to be equal, to do justise to every single one of your spouses.
Well, the Maximum is Four Wives.
And ONE important thing is to prevent Muslims from commiting Adultery.

Right here... after explaining...
It's as clear as dew that Islam is a pure Just and Fair and Loyal and Committed kind of Religion.

Like how much we must be devoted, loyal and committed to every of our spouses...
We must also be devoted, loyal, and committed to our God.
It's this simplest logic why Muslims are only devoted to Allah.

Muslims always respect other Religions.
But never ever ask us to bow to your god.
Because we will never ask you to bow to our God.

You worship your god.
We worship our God.
You won't worship our God.
Neither will we worship your god.

Don't just believe in every gods BLINDLY - that's what most Chinese are doing.
We are given every utmost RIGHTS to explore and find the RIGHT Religion.

~~~

Credits : FlickR, Erva, http://www.megphoto.com/wordpress/2005/11

~~~

To me, I've found it, and I won't let this go.
I will be as devoted, loyal, committed to Allah, likewise to my spouse.

Assalamualaikum.
Hope it will enlighten some of you.

people of the world

2009-05-07T03:19:00.004+08:00

I opened my facebook account. And saw this update they have.
What caught me in the eye is not this promotion of course.
I'm not even interested to even look or buy.
But something just kept me look on further.

~~~

See how people around the world are behaving.
Scolding other Religion by associating the people to their "Religion".
I feel sad over this kinda situation.
Whatever happened to the human race?

~~~

This is what happened when people are given the freedom to express themselves.
Almost any other form of Racial, Religious issues...
Except insulting the Government...
Can be used as a joke and insult them, and there's no barricade from stopping them.
And who knows how bad can a joke or an insult be.

Yes, you are free to express yourself.
But are you free to an extent where you'll hurt others? Physically or Mentally.
What if others are doing that to you too?

People have to taste their very own medicine before executing their actions.
And to let others Respect you, first, you have to Respect yourself.

~~~~

Credits : Facebook

~~~~

Live up to your name, Live up to your Religion.

Praying

2009-05-06T03:03:00.005+08:00

I feel humble when I see this.
It's nothing special.
Just bowing down to your Superior.
In fact, our Superior.
Alone... or

~~~

In a group, or a huge group!
Now you see everyone's doing the same too.
I've no idea why he's up there. Probably leading.
I feel a great bond within this community.
Do I have to say about other communities?

~~~

Look at how focus they are.
It gives me a form of serenity.
I feel Peace.

~~~

It warms my heart too.
I wish I could do this.
Well, I could, but I wanna do the Perfect way.

And tell Allah my problems, and hope He'll enlighten me somehow.
Or give me a guide or something.

Well, at least I'm starting.

Hope that I'll persist till the end.

~~~

Credits : FlickR search

Assalamualaikum
Peace

compromise....

2009-05-03T01:53:00.002+08:00

There's class tomorrow. But I couldn't go.
I had something else, yet I wish to go.

I didn't consult anyone on what to do or whatever this time.

"We lead our own lives".

I'm making my priority right now.
I guess I'm giving in.
But I hope it's my last one.
I really wish to attend the class.

Deep down, we have an answer.
An answer to every of our solutions.
I could be indecisive all the time.
I guess I shouldn't since I'm growing up.

Afterall...

"Every choice requires some sacrifices...
...It's whether these sacrifices are worth it or not."

I've learnt quite a lot of stuffs.
It'll be dumb not applying it.
I'll do everything I can to make sure...
I'm out of my caccoon shell.

Assalamualaikum.
Peace.

Spreading Islam... somehow.

2009-05-02T03:02:00.002+08:00

There's a land where many corruptions occur. Almost everyone in this land indulged themselves with alcohols, drugs, adultery, and whatever crimes you named it, they did it. Only ONE person in this land didn't commit any of this, because he knows that it's wrong to do all those corruptions.

One day, God can't stand it anymore, God decided to kill. However, God only killed ONE person. And who is that person?

It's the person who didn't commit crime. WHY? WHY HIM?

Because he didn't even make an effort in spreading what he knows, and all corruptions to happen.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wish to use my name of a Chinese, to clear up people's mindset of Islam. Their misunderstanding towards Islam.

I know it's difficult to convince people with an older age. That's why I wish to do to other friends, or rather, the youths of my temple which I spent my time in.

My Mission is not to convert them to be a Muslim.
My Mission is to let them think and stop doubts of them towards Islam.

I have a priviledge of being a Chinese, or soon, a Convert. I hope I could use these names of mine, to aid me in educating people who have doubts about Islam. And stop them from becoming worse.

People with an older age is hard to tackle.
But youths will tend to be an easier, and friendly way to start off with.

Maybe with more experiences, I could convince my parents in time.

Then again...
MY MISSION is to stop people from having misunderstandings towards Islam, and making them worse.
NOT to convert people.

I find that I have to do it. I need to do it.

May Allah bless me. Even if I've failed, well at least I've tried.

Peace to all =)

Iman.

2009-04-29T02:40:00.002+08:00

Everyone needs Faith.
But they are different kinds of Faiths.
Even when someone who doesn't need a faith is a kind of "Faith".
Everyone needs Faith.
And it's the only way to keep one going.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1st of May 2009 - Release of "Anywhere"!
please view myspace

www.myspace.com/ropmusics

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Assalamualaikum
Iman

facing my...

2009-04-25T02:11:00.004+08:00

It's saturday already, and I thought it's still Friday. OMG!

Time passes so fast that I'm using it for non-educating purposes. Boo, I just hope I don't mess it up.

Tomorrow's Sunday.. I'm facing what I ought to do, yet not "supposed" to...

I hope I don't hold back at the last minute, or anything to hold me back.

I must break off this shell....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Go for it! If you succeed, good for you. If you fail, then let it be a lesson for you. That's the way of Growing to your true self. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

New tagline I've came up with, well, after watching a show, but it's in my own words. =)

yay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Having a goal will always make you stronger. Just make sure you attempt to goal it. =)

delinquents....

2009-04-22T02:18:00.004+08:00

Class Chalet ended two days ago.

It was alright, but that's not my topic for the day though.

~~~~~~~~~

We went to Macdonalds for both mornings after each nights.

It's quite an unpleasant sight despite it's a fresh new day.

I'm not talking about our Class Chalet... but I'm talking about the Delinquents there in the Mac.

~~~~~~~~~~

I feel... quite heart-strickened when people are just abusing their bodies with tattoos for the purpose of "Looking Cool". Dressing up like some Ah Bengs and some Ah Lians who are just XiaoMeiMei. It's really unpleasant despite Evan and some other guys like it though. Well, yeah, I would look at them but I wouldn't want them.

But you can't really blame them, afterall, they are or were kids. Childhood experiences surely plays a part in their growing stage of their lives. Parents play a part in that too. Perhaps they were astray due to this few reasons.

Still, it's painful to the heart to see many of our similar human beings are drifted away from our pure souls.

Sad to say, all of us are slaves, slaves, and slaves.

I would say I'm a slave of God. But others are not slaves of God, rather, they are slaves to worldly temptations. That's human beings for us.

I feel like writing a song about that. Hope inspiration could strike me. I'm also hoping that some of my brothers could aid along too. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a nosebleed this morning like 9am.
I feel weak till now, late at 2am.

No idea why, will anyone just concern about me if they are reading this???
It doesn't hurt to show your love and concern to a guy who is "sick"... =)

Peace.

dilemma

2009-04-21T03:00:00.002+08:00

I'm under a dilemma, over a decision that I need to make.

Even though the answer is very clear, my decision is made up but... I can't execute it yet.

Something is just holding me back... and I'm very struggled to decide.

Kept thinking... and thinking.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My enlistment to NS is on 24th July. I thought it will be around June.

Is it God's will that I could go to class on every Sunday till it ends?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every decision requires to have some sacrifices. It's an internal struggle, but I guess I know the answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breaking off the shell.

the past.

2009-04-17T02:00:00.002+08:00

I was bored a few days ago. Then I start to dig some stuff of the past I kept as memories.

They made me smile, laugh on my own (insane kiddo). Haha, but it's true, looking at how stupid and funny I was last time.

And saw some pictures I took, class photos, neo prints, and whatever are just memorable. Soft copies are better in digital formats especially when it comes to photos.

And look back when I was sec 4, I think I was handsome at that point of time. HAHA! yup, sweet memories.

And no matter what happens, we still need to move on. So lemme share two lines of wisdom I've found.

~~~~~~

This one is by Iroh from the Avatar :

Life is like a dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And this one... Is from me! haha.

Things that have passed shouldn't be clinged on.
They should be a form of motivation rather than a depressing statement, and a kind reminder of our flaws and milestone checks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yup, so dig out some of your old stuffs, I believe everyone would be curious on their past. It's also a milestone check. =)

Peace!

Avatar - Chakras.

2009-04-14T01:19:00.006+08:00

Visualise this...

There are SEVEN pools of water, connected by small waterfalls/channels. However, all these small connectors are blocked by clumps of algaes/dirts.

The only way to make this pools of water flow, is to remove these clumps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is one good episode of the Avatar, despite it's a cartoon series, but it's definitely one good cartoon because it's really both nice, action-packed, and knowledgable. So, sharing it here is a good idea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Like above, there are SEVEN chakras found in the body. And what are Chakras? Chakras are nexuses of metaphysical or biophysical energy within the body. And like the above example, Chakras are connectors that flows within the body. When all the Chakras are opened, energies are free to flow around the body. But when a Chakra is blocked, energy can no longer flow.

Each pool of Chakra represents different elements, and it circulates around some key terms in life.

If you put this theory in life, you can free yourself from pain, depression, and desires. That's what I feel. I'm still unable to do so, cuz I'm not a Guru anyway. So, let me just share with you this. It's kinda nice. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first Chakra, is the Earth Chakra. It is located at the Bass of the Spine. This circulates around "Survival" and is usually blocked by "Fear".

The second Chakra, is the Water Chakra. It is located at the Sacrum. This circulates around "Pleasure" and is usually blocked by "Guilt".

The third Chakra, is the Fire Chakra. It is located at the Stomach. This circulates around "Willpower" and is usually blocked by "Shame".

The fourth Chakra, is the Air Chakra. It is located at the Heart. This circulates around "Love" and is usually blocked by "Grief".

The fifth Chakra, is the Sound Chakra. It is located at the Throat. This circulates around "Truth" and is usually blocked by "Lies".

The sixth Chakra, is the Light Chakra. It is located at the Forehead. This circulates around "Insight" and is usually blocked by "Illusions".

The seventh, last Chakra, is the Thought Chakra. It is located at the Crown of the Head. This circulates around "Pure Cosmic Energy" and is blocked by "Earthly Attachments".

~~~~~~~~~~~

If you clear all these blockage, you'll experience a better life, spiritually. And if you give it much thought, and analysis, what I've said, or this cartoon shared it's knowledge is awesome.

......

When you are encountering your life and death Survival, your weakness is Fear. Once you start to fear, you'll lose almost all your ability to surive.

When you are experiencing Pleasure in your life, your weakness is Guilt. Is your pleasure at the expense of one's joy? Or is your guilt an expense of other's accusations that stops you from your pleasure?

When you need to have Willpower in your life, your weakness is Shame. You'll be reminded of all the shameful things that you did, and it will stop you from doing at your best.

When Love is in the air, your weakness is Grief. You're afraid of making the ones you loved grief.

When Truth is always pure, your weakness is Lies. Lies always deludes the Truth. Don't cover up the Truth with excuses/lies, live up to the Truth. - Be your true self, and don't let other's opinions hinder you.

When you have an Insight of some issues, your weakness is Illusions. Rumours, all. Once your mind is clear from those, your Insight will be true.

To obtain Pure Cosmic Energy, in a sense, it's Good Spiritual Karma, and what usually binds us is Earthly Attachments, Worldly Temptations. This blocks us from pursuing what we really want, spiritually.

And we need to unblock all this Chakras, to become THE AVATAR! Or rather, we can unblock these Chakras in different situations of our lives.... And it's for us to have an open-mind in seeing life. To be a better human of course.

~~~~~~~~~~

These are what I've analyse about the SEVEN Chakras. Despite it's a cartoon show, this episode is enriching and I love it.

10 stars for the Avatar!

And well, now it's time for me to pursue the Arrivals, and hope I will do soon.

Thanks and peace!

religions.

2009-04-12T00:24:00.003+08:00

Today I went to Abel's church's service - City Harvest @ Expo.

Personally, it's good, well, if you look with an open mind. It's good. They had a drama act which shows how Jesus was actually crucified on the cross and so on.

Before this, I thought Christianity was actually very brainwashing. Today I went there with an open mind. And... I've concluded that...

To a certain extent, yes it is. But I've found out that that's the only way for them to know what God really means to them, what they need is a faith that can strongly hold.

Everyone needs something to cling on, that's their faith. And whatever God they do believe in, that'll make them stronger.

Everyone has to judge what's right and wrong in their own lives. To them, Christianity is what's right. And to me, and my fellow Brothers, judge that Islam is right.

Despite this thing is different, one thing remains the same. That is - our true heart. Despite we pray to different "Gods", our heart is still true. And I could see this coming out from almost the people who are willing to give their hearts to Jesus in the service.

I didn't give my heart to Jesus, of course. Because I'm a slave of God. God, who is the one and only God.

And after learning somethings in Islam, I managed to find some loopholes in the service. But I won't state it here.

To whoever who disrupt and destory the true essence of the Bible, or any other Holy Scriptures, you deserve what you'll get during Judgement Day.
For those who uses a true heart and preach what is right for you without harming others, I think God will be merciful and allow you to paradise. Afterall, God is most perfect. God is the most merciful.

And I pray for all beings to do what's right, and good.

Though I'm not a Christian, I've said my piece above. It's how you judge whether what I said about Christianity is good, or not.

Neither am I a Muslim, yet.
If God wills, I will be one.

=)

peace.

supertitious... uncle/auntie ustaz =)

2009-04-08T02:01:00.007+08:00

Today I went to pray for my late grandparents. I don't feel like going but I feel like I have no other choice... Besides my mother's mother - my grandmother, the rest of my grandparents I have never seen before. She lived till I was 12. Everytime I went to her place, she would give each of us brothers $2. It was a huge amount back then, and we were very happy! Santa grandma. =) But we didn't really spend much time together, cuz we're not living in the same house.

Still, I wish her best for her afterlife, afterall she's my grandmother. I wish all good beings the best too. I hope Allah will forgive them for being supertitious, afterall, I believe some of them really hasn't encountered Islam at all. If they have a pure heart, please take them to paradise. =)
Talking about Supertitious, here's just some pictures to show how it's like.

~~~~~~

Envirionmental Friendly. The couples on the left were actually really burning a paper car.
It was so-called said that if you burn paper "items" for your late ones, they will receive in their afterlife.
So my words to them is.... If you don't like living in the world, you might as well go and die, and ask one of your relatives/friends to help you burn money cars ETC. You'll be better off there.

And here's another picture...

I held about 3 joysticks today. But I'm praying for my late ones, not to any other Gods. But this is what make me feel like not going to pray.

I can't stand the smell of this joysticks, right from the start. I guess that's why I don't even wish to be a monk when I was a kid. I can't participate even the retreat, cuz I have to shave botak and etc etc. I won't be able to stand it. Cuz simply, I don't like it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Some triads of Buddhism requires you to be a monk before you could practice buddhism. There are different sects of it. Whichever is true, who knows? And which can you explain which sect practices the purest Buddhism?

There's no religion that is comparable to Islam. (No offence, people, I'm just saying) Even though Islam is split to two different kinds, Sunni & Shi'a, we can clearly see which kind is the obvious pure one. However, we all shouldn't be split to different kinds, we're all from the same religion. We're all the same human beings, we're just a tiny human. We all should have something in common, nothing should seperate us which is our religion. We all should share the same religion. But guess what, religion is not suppose to be mentioned when you're conversating. Oh well, look at the world now...

~~~~~~~~~

Is there anyone, your relative, a relatively elder relative that you can admire them about? Well, look at all my aunts and uncles, there's only a few. Basically, One to Two. That's all.

Even the way they converse, the way the talk, the way they use their brains to talk makes me feel like as though "I shouldn't be related to them".

Comparing with others who has better uncles and aunties, sometimes I don't really know who to blame.

The only person I could blame is simply, me myself. By comparing yourself with others, will only make you miserable. I should be glad that I have aunties and uncles while some don't even have a close relative. Despite I don't really like them, I guess I can just collect red packets doing CNY! haha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the car, I had an arguement with my mom. What she said doesn't make any sense. And sometimes, I just don't wish to listen to them - my parents no more, and do what I ought I should be doing.

This brings me down to two options.

(1) Do anything, even if I have to break my own principles, to have my desire.
This option is saying that, I'll do whatever it takes to be one...

(2) Do a thing, sticking to my own principles, to have my desire.
This option... is that I will consider a lot of factors, where I have to think of win-win situations, just to be one.

or the last one.

(3) Wait till a better time.

But I don't want. I don't feel secure, as long as one day I'm not a Muslim, I will linger and weaver.

I'm a fallen leaf, I will keep falling till I have a suitable ground to stay on.
And I don't wish that ground to be something I don't want.

If I went for classes during that time... I would already be a Muslim now. And then I wouldn't fret on these problems.

But I'm not good with words, I can't convince my parents......

If someone else was me, I believe he will have more wisdom and knowledge and know how to tackle these problems, but he's not me. And thus I don't know how to convince my parents. Cuz to me... action speaks louder for word. Defintely. Just that my parents don't even want me to do any actions.

Which option???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lastly I would end off, soon. Sorry for the long post today, I just have a lot to say. Pardon me. =)

Aiza told me something that makes me happy, yet with a tinge of sadness with it.

I only went for religious class once, and saw this teacher - Ustaz Salleh. Though we didn't talk much, what I remembered was that I went up and handle the slides for a while. And after that, Aiza's revert makes us talk a bit more. But that's all. I didn't go back to the place. And that was like 3 months ago.

Aiza told me just today that he still remembers me, and asked about me. It's not really a big thing, but still, I'm touched that he still remembers me.

Heard from Aiza, Ustaz Salleh urge me to pursue my faith as soon as possible. And I want to, sadly I'm binded by other bonds.

I'm unsure of my next move, but I'm always delaying it with time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm still headstrong with my faith. I hope I will still be, insyaAllah.

peace people.

Videos...

2009-04-07T02:03:00.003+08:00

hey people. =)

~~~~~~~~~

Watching Avatar on my home's big screen TV makes me wanna buy the whole DVD. Despite it's a cartoon, and I love cartoons (Old pedophile). Whatever you say... Avatar is episode-based cartoon and has an awesome storyline, plot, and great effects and all.

Despite it's more to ancient Chinese kinda scene, it's in English and it's different to a certain extent, yet very original. This show uses the common elements that we have in life. Which is...
Water, Earth, Fire, Air. This shows revolves around the uses of these elemental movements, where "Bending" is used for the term.

It's seriously a nice cartoon. If it's a movie, wow, I'll be watching.

The ending is quite nice too, however there's one or two unresolved case. Maybe it leads on to the 2nd season. Well, 4.8/5 stars for this show. =)

I SO WANNA WATCH THE WHOLE SERIES AGAIN!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Avatar..... and I think I should begin my watch on The Arrivals soon. I keep telling myself I wanna watch but guess games are overwhelming me.

Hmmm.... need to control... HAHA! =)

Mind-bending.

WOOO! I MUST WATCH THIS TWO AWESOME SERIES OF SHOW!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Till then, I can't wait for DMAT's the SECOND , LAST CLASS CHALET!

I bet all of us are!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm tired. Tomorrow I guess have to go pray for my late grandmother. I guess I will be holding Joysticks and all. But I guess my intention is to pray for her afterlife. Not being superstitious like praying to another God, because there's no other God in this world.

In my case, my only God is God. God = Allah.

Peace.

happy endings... ???

2009-04-03T02:54:00.002+08:00

almost 99% of drama serials, movies, etc all have happy endings. don't you think so?

it is the same to life? no one knows till their time is up.

back again, don't you find that almost 99% of drama serials, movies, etc all have abrupt endings?
it seems like after the ending, they don't have any more problems in life, and they all have a happily ever after story.

and definitely, in a drama serial, movie, etc all have either major or minor "Love" element in it.

it seems like every single life is the same, and keeps on repeating itself through various shows.

well, it's all well expected in these shows now.
a good show needs a different style of showcasing.
likewise, good music sometimes need some varieties.
they can still revolve around the same theme...
but still, original is the key.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

mentioning about love above, seriously, i am emo right now that i'm gonna tell you i've never been into a relationship before in about almost 20 years of my life. and seriously, you can just laugh at me because of this reason and most probably you have at least a few years of relationship or you have at least many relationshipSSSSS.

yup, go on and laugh at me.

if you're the kind who breaks up and get back in to a relationship quickly, you're just an experienced love-hopper (if there's such a term, you get what i mean).

if you're the kind who is still sticking with your current relationship for a long time (you judge whether it's long), good for you, claps =)

why i'm saying this is because i had a friend who was a love-hopper. i don't know about him now.
worse of all, he double, triple time many girls at one go.
once, he was so upset with one girl who he broke up with. --> then i turned to care and treat him one very nice meal outside, hoping to cheer him up.
guess what, few days later, he recovered with a new girl.

when i see people who are love-hoppers, i despise them, greatly.
do they know about love?
yup, hugging, kissing, what else?
love = sex?

youngsters nowadays seriously need to get a slap before knowing what is pain.

though i never been to a relationship, i'm glad i didn't.
i would rather be with my love of my life, she = my one and only one.
rather than to keep finding my real love in many relationships.

given a choice, what will you pick?

then again, i'm not emo, haha. i'm just kidding around just to get you to the mood.
well cya =)

treasure... cherish...

2009-03-27T01:21:00.003+08:00

hmm, just going around blog-hopping...
and facebook quiz...

so.. details... hmmm...

~~~~~~~

went to a brother's blog... went to do a quiz.... all stating they miss DMATs...
well, everyone, about 80% i guess, misses school life.

~~~~~~~

just saying that, we don't treasure things until we know they are gone.

how many of us do give serious thoughts when we're having a semester or year break after a long term of schooling? i bet none of us do miss the lecturers this much at that time.

same goes to life. even drama serials. watched one moments ago. we don't cherish things until they are gone. or until we know their actual worth of value before they go missing.

but i know the value of one friendship i'm holding. even if next time we don't hang out or see often, i will always remember that this friendship, even it's a short duration of time, but i have to say it's the most quality time i had in all my friendships. because it has not only change my mindset, i believe i'm a better person now, happier of course.

hey brother, you said this... "Cherish this friendship" while you passed me that $5 bucks. i remember that bro. and that's why the song below my tagboard has been there for so long!

haha. yup, but i'll remove it soon. i'm so sorry, but this song has got to go. Because there's another song coming soon that means much more to me!!

I think you know what song it is. I'll pray fast for it's completion.

DMAT means a lot to me. even with a so-called "Widespread" of jobs out there, DMAT is a course that I never regretted to start from Day 1, till the last Day.

With much thought, in fact, it's not the Diploma that I'm after...
But it's the experience.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Assalamualaikum fellow readers.
Peace.

anywhere.

2009-03-25T00:46:00.001+08:00

I'm just saying Anywhere will be out soon.

My new song will be up here and on myspace!

It's gonna be awesome I SWEAR! =)

=)

live up to your name.

2009-03-20T02:18:00.005+08:00

Today was a fun day. Probably tired and aching will there be the next morning I guess.
But, let's talk about something else, something I talked to Abel about...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Live up to your name.
Live up to who you are - ???.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some of you may understand what I'm trying to say, some don't.

So let me elaborate and then end this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May I boldly ask what is your religion?
Christianity? Buddhism? Islam? Judaism? Hinduism? Taoism?

It doesn't matter whether what religion are you.
It doesn't matter AT ALL if you don't practice them.

What I'm trying to say here is just clearly two points.
(1) Don't just say what religion you or others embrace in and do nothing about it.
(2) Practice your religion if you have one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Let's just go to any typical place in Singapore and you'll get what I mean.
Well, just visualise in your mind this time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walk up any Chinese Teenagers now in the street. I can dare say almost 50% AND MORE will say, I'm a Buddhist / Taoist, and the reason I'm that is because my parents are Buddhists / Taoists.

Now, walk up to any uncovered Malay Female Teenager, or even some Malay Male Teenager, and I can say almost 70% of them will say, I'm a Muslim, and the reason why I'm a Muslim is because my parents are Muslims.

And then, ask them one more question, "Do you practice what you're suppose to?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Taoist etc, don't just be one because of someone related - like your parents or relatives or loved ones.
Be one because you think it's good, be one because of YOURSELF.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was thinking, how can you call yourself a Muslim if you don't practice the ways of a Muslim.
Same goes to other religions.
Kids nowadays are spoilt thanks to the media.
I pray for world peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then again, I remembered a line from someone Genius.

Don't change for somebody, change for yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ponder over what I've written here, and do something about it.
And I'm glad that I'm learning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Then again,

Live up to your name.
Live up to who you are - your religious status.

If you don't agree... there's a tagboard, so tag me. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peace brothers and sisters.

DMAT.

2009-03-19T03:11:00.004+08:00

My Secondary School, Manjusri.
My form teacher for Sec. 4 told us that
"Secondary School's Friends are the closest among all schools you attended".

~~~~~~~~~~~

I was an average playful kid when I was a little kid, around primary school time, let's say 12.
Before that, I was in Haig Boys' School.
Due to the merger of Three Schools - Haig Boys', Fowlie and Mountbatten Primary, there comes Tanjong Katong Primary School.
I was the pioneer batch of TKPS. And making friends within a year is quite okay.
4 of us were good friends at the time.
Two of us were from Haig Boys', and Two of them were from Fowlie, we're all in the same class.
And, luckily we found each other by chance and have each other contacts now.
But now, we didn't really meet up much and even chat online.
......
......
I had quite a low average score for PSLE - 190.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to the last class for Secondary One Express Class.
I was in the CCA - Choir.
And naturally, those who make it to Secondary Two Express Class, was moved up to the same class.
During Sec 1, I had a good friend, who just met by chance, who just sat beside me on the first day of school. And surprisingly, we're quite a neighbour in a sense - the area we lived.
Secondary Two was the streaming year and I was shocked on my results.

I went to the Top Class - Triple Science Class. A combination of 8 Subjects.
Only a few of us are in the same class. The rest are the second and third class.
And then moving on the Secondary Four and finally to finish Secondary School life.

After finishing our O levels, we had a class chalet. 80% of the people are there.
The following year, we had a class chalet again! Yes! 40% of the people are there.
And no more meet ups.

If someone asked me who I hang out with during Sec 3 and 4, I really don't know who to answer. Because no one shares the same mentality, same ideas or anything that is similar. Everyone's just.... different from me.
....
....
The results are out.
L1B4 - 13 Points.
L1B5 - 18 Points.

As I was also a Prefect, and a Choir Member who had 2 Silvers in SYF.
I had an A for CCA.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My vision is clear at that point in time. I only have one direction in mind and I'm gonna go in.

Diploma in Music & Audio Technology (DMAT)

Despite I know nuts about Music... I still want to pursue it.

My first mentality is to be a Performer who rock out. I even plan out what I want to do during these years.
I wanted to learn Guitar, both strumming and tabs. I want to learn Keyboard and master it. Follow by Drums, and then the Electric Bass.
I even planned which year I learn what and so forth. But talk is cheap.

There're 40 people per batch. And there are two classes - 20 each. And four groups - 10 each.

During my first year, I was shy. Typically not open to people yet. I didn't blend well then. I was mixing with some of my other Secondary School friends who are in some form of a "club". I'm not so into what they are doing, but I just hang out with them.
Time to time, I realise that I can't manage to keep up with them. They are more to the "Gang" side. It's kinda like a personal conflict. And so there I go, never contacted them again.
Fun was all I had in mind, but still, learning in class

During this second year, I became more open. My mentality still stays the same. It's said that this year is the most fun year because of "Performance", "Live Sound". It's almost like 80% of the time both classes are together, so it's really fun.
And this time, chemistry really starts to build up between DMATs and we're very happy with one another. Almost all. =)
But what I realised is that, I'm not really a performer. I can't do it well because I don't have the skills to do so. So my mentality changed after this year.

Now my mentality is.... to be a good songwriter, a good sound engineer, and an arranger.
That leads on to my Portfolio Development.

During my final year, seriously speaking, it's one of my favourite years. Due to various reasons.

(1) It's the modules they teach. Songwriting and Arranging! What I wanted!
(2) Portfolio Development! - to do songs SERIOUSLY to quite a professional level.
(3) The time WE spend in school.
(4) The values I learnt during this year.

Oh, we all hate one module - Processes in Asian Music. haha, and it's funny to see the whole course hating one module. Everyone knows what they like and dislike. And the whole GENIUS thingy. haha.
During this year, many of us come up with many Portfolios, different songs, different products. And watching almost everyone who presented makes me feel happy. The good thing about us is that, all of us like different stuff, but the same common thing - which is MUSIC.

I really miss those times where I came to school early and then stay all the way till lab closes.
Together with some friends.

Despite it's very tiring, I really enjoyed this period in life during DMAT. Get to do what you like, get to hang out with friends together. We've developed a family among ourselves. =)

And last but not least, the values I learnt during my last year. Though I'm not learning so much, still, I'm learning. For what I've changed - My Brother can vouch for me. And what I've not changed, for the bad stuffs - I'll change it in time. Well, and all the stuffs that makes me - me, just keeping it till I'm over with it.

Brother, thanks.

I've become someone stronger and better.

Despite over the first two years I screwed up, I'm very satisfied with my last year. I had a 3.2 GPA for my last year. Compared to my first two years, it's a big difference!

But, I have a 2.7 GPA for overall. And someone said to me...
We don't have music background, and getting some like this is good enough.

Well, it's true. Having music background starts from young. And then I was satisfied with my results. It's well-deserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm gonna miss DMAT for sure. 100%. 200%! Unspeakable!
I'll miss my DMAT life more than any educational life I had.
Because you people in DMAT make me realise the music I made, is different.
And what we all do, is different, but we have something that is the same - The passion for Music.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, some of us are meeting up for Gym tomorrow. I wonder what we'll be after NS, will we still keep in touch???

Who knows, but whatever happens, God wills.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you set a goal, you don't have to score it. But you'll definitely score something, or even something better along the way.

I miss DMATs. Meet up soon guys! =)

boo hate aunt.

2009-03-13T01:40:00.019+08:00

hello.

yep, blogging again as usual, but this time round let's talk about something.

i'm the kind who can't express my words very clearly. which is like, what i wanna express usually lack of some other information such that it's misinterpret wrongly. and i have to say that it's my fault for my command of english is bad.

But sometimes, people just assume and add in their own DETAILS to what you wrote.

and so... i wrote this on facebook.

"We choose our lives, not your father, not your mother."

And it's true, what would you think of when I say this?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

(1) I'm an ungrateful brat.
(2) I'm a very ungrateful brat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's what my aunt thinks of, when she added me on facebook, and start viewing all my info and all. Blah blah blah... I don't have a very good impression of her and I don't really like her since I was a kid. I don't respect her even if she's my aunt. Because Respect is something she'll have to earn. I don't bother of her earning my respect, afterall, I don't really want to communicate with her. It's very stressful and I have to be extremely tactful with my words, otherwise she'll just use her venomus breath at me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back to the topic,
"We choose our lives, not your father, not your mother."

And you surely have to agree on this. I'm not saying that we should be ungrateful to our parents. They are the ones who guide us from a little baby till now. They can help us decide what we want, we can CHOOSE to be fillial to them, or we can CHOOSE to decide what is better for us. You can choose to RESPECT their decision, OR let them RESPECT your decision.

We are all humans, and what i'm saying here is ONE BIG THING. Which is - We have the freedom of choices. Don't because of some obligations that make you cause your own suffering.

We have the freedom of choice. Yes we do.

But there's one famous line that goes.... - "You leave me no choice, but to..."

In fact, you are the one who have chosen to do that. Think about it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, after this Freedom of Choices, back to my Aunt.

You don't respect someone because she's your aunt. But you respect her because she's your aunt AND she does something about it that makes you respect her.

She always thinks that I'm a weakling, and I know it all along. She plays her role well and I don't like her at all.

And there's a saying, "Prove your worth".

The next question I'll ask is... - "To who?"

To my aunt? She doesn't even care, so why should I prove my worth to her?

Most importantly, in this world, you have to prove your worth to YOURSELF.

~~~~~~~~~~

One last thing I would like to say about my aunt is that... she adds her own story into what I say, that's why she says i'm ungrateful. And then says that I'm a lost kid who is handling some religious issue which is OBVIOUSLY too big for me to handle.

then again, your attitude is OBVIOUSLY too big for your ownself to handle. I can get very personal which i think, i will make her piss so badly. OR, I can choose to be Mr Nice Guy.

I'm not lost in some religious issue. I'm just being stopped from embracing my desired religion, because of my parents who disapprove me from. Because I'm still a minority in Singapore. But once I'm 21, that's when I can do almost everything freely, and up to what I want.

If you know me, I'm a guy who is very lame and all. But if you really know me, I stick down well with my very own principles in life. Fillial Piety, Loyalty etc.

And this is one of my principles.
"Do anything that makes you happy, at your own will, without killing your own coinciousness."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I've learnt it in facebook. Many things upon my Aunt's comment in my facebook.
But one thing still remains, I hate her.
But another thing that has changed, I don't have to hate her, WASTE MY BRAIN'S RAM!

=)

crazy

2009-03-09T01:18:00.005+08:00

hey people! i've not been updating about my life, but more of my ideas these few posts before this. so let me just update what i'm gonna do before my graduation!

and cuz this is my personal blog, not many people will view this but still some will, so just updating!

Firstly, number ONE on the list.... is.... to....
(1) Complete "Anywhere"!
yes! the song i was inspired by Chris Brown's Forever. And the very first time I sing with autotune. DAMN NICE! must hear it soon okay!?
And number TWO!
(2) Do a DUET SONG!
yes, a guy and a girl. BUT NOT ME SINGING! haha! let two awesome singers to steal my limelight! woo! AND NO AUTOTUNE!
AND I GOT THE SINGERS! if i actually plan to work on it! haha.

yup, top of my list!
haha!

=)

Peace all!

Inferiority... Singapore music just CMI.

2009-03-05T23:03:00.064+08:00

Have you ever wished that you have more talents so that people will remember you and use you more and make you feel wanted?

I wished so too. Till now, whenever, wherever. I just want to somehow shine for a while, but I doubt I can, because I have not much of a talent.

I feel like I'm an outcast from the rest of the people around me. I feel like that's an aura from them and me that just can't attract our interests. And on top of that, you can't have your say, because, You Have Not Much of A Talent.

Sometimes you'll defame yourself, so that others will care more for you. I just did like, less than 24hours ago. Everyone loves attention. Everyone hates inferiority. They wished they are someone better, with good or more talents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever wished that you have lesser talent in something? So that people won't ask you for help more often? And you try every way to sneak away from any opportunity coming towards you?

They wished so too. Sometimes too much of somethings just makes you be over-commited at somethings. Just like my dad. And he complains, and yet he still does it.

Everytime I look at him, it makes me wonder whether I should look up to him... or just look down at him. He's very tired, yet still help out, and when he's stress, he complains, and when he does that, he directs to his work, an out of no income work. He can't deny any of these work. And I don't know why.

I'm sad over the fact that my dad is like that. And he has a very big "MAN" attitude. So whatever he says is right. And I hate that because, that's not true.

Sometimes I wished I'm less inferior. Sometimes I wished my dad is more inferior.
And that separates us. And when you say you miss your dad, you'll say it with your heart....
Me? I don't know...

Even though I know sooner or later he'll pass on, and when people talk about my dad... should I be delighted? or should I be ?????

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went to watch LivenLoad on the actual place itself. And guess what, MALAYS TEENS now are spoiling what GOOD MALAYS SHOULD BE. This point, I don't respect the general population of Malays. Well, not only Malays, but these goes out to my very own race as well, the Chinese.

Typical piece of "cool". I can't stand it. The system has overwhelmed us. And we need to get rid of it. But what's the point saying here, they won't get it to their heads, and be overwhelmed by simple worldly temptations.

Back to LnL. I think it's new, fresh, but not good as a whole. Firstly, it's the crowd. Different genres of music performed are affected by the crowd. Imagine you have like... 5% of the crowd likes R&B, 95% like Rock. Tell me, who will they cheer/jeer.

I just feel, Singapore teenagers are super typical, be it in style, dressing, music, thinking and all, are all super typical.

No matter how good a band may be, in Singapore, No Looks = No Fame.

That's why I say...

The Shit gets the Best, and the Best gets the Shit.
Decipher that.

Peace you'll.

worldly temptation sucks.

2009-02-25T23:27:00.074+08:00

i've blog hopping around. and as expected, people are over worldly temptations.

i'm feeling sad over what is going on. people are just doing what is believed, especially over supertition and what's worse is that they are teaching kids that are innocent and not knowing the truth. and now they are mind-controlled to be controlled and teach what was "RIGHT", and what is right turns wrong. and they "know" the right things.

i'm in doubt over what buddhism has taught me, despite the fact it makes me understand more about life. i'm grateful for being a buddhist for about 10 years in my life. and the fact what makes me be a faithful buddhist is because of a temptation that makes me go to temple. that is fame and reputation in my temple, through performances i've gained some. and i like the feeling, it's like you are like... an idol. being loved and all. but i'm over that. because the greatest love of all is actually to love for who you are, not by how many people who love you. if you don't love yourself, no matter how many people love you, nothing is comparable to filling up that spot of emptiness, only you can fill it up.

i've learnt a lot a lot a lot of valuable lessons once i start mixing around with Aeem. seriously, i learnt a lot in terms of my thinking and all. i think i've really grown up a lot this time, despite my lameness and all. though i may seem to be lame and happy at most of the times, i'm an emo kid inside last time. and i'm glad that now i'm out of it and seriously, i'm really happy this time. i'm self-assured. and all these are things that i've learnt on my own. of course Aeem showed me this path.

and my theory stays the same...
do things that makes you happy, without going against your own consciousness.

just that now i add one more line to it.

do things that makes you happy; without going against your own consciousness; and do it with your own self-assured will; and most importantly, love yourself.

well... a few more lines.

just to say a few more things. we control our emotions. so when others do things that makes you sad, or scared or whatever, just remember, we can still be happy. don't let other people's mistakes be yours.

well... i can do a book compiling all my words. haha. yay! =)

assalamualaikum people.
thanks bro. =)

freedom of choices

2009-02-23T01:03:00.060+08:00

assalamualaikum people. i know that one day i will still be questioned for my faith and all. despite the fact of all the things that stopped me from pursuing my choice of faith, i find it that i should be proud of showing my faith and whatever i believe in.

i've asked how i can convince others to believe in me... i'm in many doubts of questions in how to answer them wisely... but still, my stand, this ground, i will be rooting down to this.

we all are the same, despite the different flaws or talents we have. other people's flaws could be your talents and vice versa. everyone's equal, others may have looks but you may have a heart that worth more than your appearance. things work differently, but in comparison, all of us are the same. we still breathe everyday. we are humans. we are suppose to stand together as one and not killing each other. i'm just saying, we are all the same, and should be embracing to the same god. you can choose not to believe, but yes, we are the same. we are humans and you can't rewrite this fact.

saying all these, you can choose to believe in God, whoever your God is. because we're given the freedom of choices. over basic things like Emotions, Relationships etc. and because of that, we should be the one to decide our own lives. NOT BECAUSE of your parents are Taoist or Buddhist or Muslim or Christian, you are what you are. YOU are given a choice on your decision, you choose what you want to embrace and you choose your life.

many kids nowadays are buddhists because of their parents are buddhist. or taoist likewise, they don't learn from their religion and they claim their "rank". and sad to say, they don't have a piece of their mind in what they do, they don't know what they are doing! same goes to muslim and christian and etc. i know that i will contradict myself in this post, and make a slight mess out of it, but what i'm trying to say that, it's a freedom of choice, and YOU should know what are you doing.

it's being said that once you convert to a Muslim, you can't convert back. (yah right). if you convert to another religion, and that religion can save you, why not? it's kinda dumb that you let this restriction restict you.

another example is that people question God, let's say....
If what I do is wrong, let heaven strike me...
right?

in Buddhism, what they say is when you worship, you need a statue so that you won't make yourself astray. And what I believe now is that, why are you praying to a once-HUMAN that do FLAWS and SAYS that TAKE THE GOOD THINGS WITH YOU, and WHATEVER SEEMS BAD TO YOU, leave it (in terms of knowledge).

you have to know that God is flawless, is perfect and no one can be as perfect as God. and when we worship God, we don't need a statue, because if God is a statue, that's as good as saying that God is just like any other sculpture.

just to say that, Buddha is actually from India, and look at him now in our society, the Buddha is somehow, chinese-fied. and there's no fixed appearance of him.

we are not God for sure. no matter what, we are just humans. we are given the freedom of choices, depends on how you choose your decision, depends on how severe that matter is, it's your choice. It's YOU who decide your decision, NOT PEER PRESSURE or ANYTHING, if that affects you, then ultimately, it's you who make it happen.

And that's what i'm gonna do. Nothing will stop me when the time is ripe.

It's time we take pride for who we are, and say proudly of who we are. We shouldn't hide our true identity, because, what's the point of hiding your true identity when you want to be one, but hiding it?

That's when I'll say that I am who I am, and I will be one, when the time is riped.

I will be a Muslim regardless of who and what they say.
I will be a Muslim and I will be one, proudly.
I will be a Muslim, insya Allah.

I hope I don't offend you or anything, and if I do, my apologies. and if you like, you can open a discussion with me on msn etc. Thank you.

Peace.

seize a chance.

2009-02-18T20:50:00.004+08:00

Hey people! post my two songs here for you to enjoy. OR IF NOT!!!
www.myspace.com/ropmusics

you can go there and enjoy BETTER! yay!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've not been blogging most probably because i'm seriously busy those days. still have 2 more days then i'm crazy! YAY! lol. yup. so i will blog more then! =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... Food for thoughts....

Have you come across that you want to see someone's face in quite a distance? Like you are a distance away from someone, you find that she's pretty or so, and you want to see her face. Sometimes it's better not to see her. It's better to keep that good "image" of her in your mind, rather than spoiling that image when you see that she's actually ugly.... so it's okay if you don't see her at that point of time, it's a blessing in disguise if you say so. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

... Food for thoughts.....

Sigh, just never seize the chance well, but still, at least it's done rather than not done at all. I'm so glad that I did so. Thanks! =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Graduating is a step away. I'll hold on.

Thanks Allah for making me "LEVEL UP". =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

quote... from I don't know who.......

"While others indulge with worldly temptations, I pray for me, and them, to abstain them."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I seriously think that Abel and Azlan's POD are the best in this batch. The message. I will put the link here soon for you guys to listen. It's awesome!

Peace to all. =)

HARSH!

2009-02-07T02:08:00.031+08:00

this time is harsh for every DMATs. and even harsher for one.
pray that everyone will be fine, irregardless of whatever happens, we still must graduate as one!

~~~~~~~~~~~

haven't blog for so long because of strainous week. have been going to school as early as 10am everyday and leave school as late as 10pm+.

I'm dead tired now. But I still wanna work till I'm done. It's gonna be hell on monday and tuesday.
wednesday is the deadline for POD. everyone's chionging. and i'll be proud to showcase my work publicly on the following tuesday/wednesday, after our presentation. =)

~~~~~~~~~~

today i think quite a lot. not so much. but, sometimes you have happy events and sad events that happened concurrently.

i'm happy because today's my mom's birthday =)
but i'm sad because of something bad happened.

you can't control God's will.
but you can control your emotions.

so overall i choose to be happy.
but at situations, don't be happy if there's something bad.

and that's rhyme with a statement
do the right thing at the right time.
don't do the right thing at the wrong time.

i pray for Peace to everyone here, and everyone out there.

Peace.

the arrivals

2009-02-01T03:32:00.047+08:00

After watching almost half of the series, I will advertise this Educational piece of work here.
It's so freakingly true. And you'll know more about this world.

It's time for you guys to wake up! Don't just think about yourself, think for others too!
So, just to advertise this piece of awesome work, I shall introduce it to you.

~~~~~~~~

It's a Muslim's point of view. But nevertheless, it has Quotes from all sources, and great evidences that isn't just pure coincidences. You'll be damn freaking yourself out, but it's really educating.

So, Dear Fellow Muslims, Christians, and all other Religions' Brothers and Sister, don't lose yourself. We have a common enemy - The Dajjal aka AntiChrist.

The work is called - "The Arrivals". We ought to spread it, if you think it's good. =)
http://www.thearrivals.blogspot.com/
It has a total of 51 videos of about 10 mins each. So enjoy it.

And if you like it, you can view more of their works at...
http://wakeupproject.com/

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peace be upon all of you.

Media.

2009-01-31T02:28:00.030+08:00

I'm scared of one thing. The thing is how media will further affect people's thinking.

It's scary to know that. And really didn't know much. I'm worried for this life, and the life of the future. You never know really, what media has turned us into.

I'm terrified of even stepping out of the house, horrified by turning on the news on TV, scared of flipping the newspaper and see all these news of what is "claimed".

~~~~

And that's how people become Stereo-type - via media.
Ask yourself this, what comes to your mind when you see "Islam"?

Is it Peace? or is it Terrorism?
Is it Peace? or is it Destruction?
Is it Peace? or is it Bloodsheds?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1ibtQZPmmI

There you go, the answer is here. And you'll be shocked, just like I did. And understand how I feel when you watch everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's one reason why I'm stopped from embracing my desired religion.
The power of media.

Media - New World Order.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End is Near.

no...

2009-01-26T01:38:00.101+08:00

Today's the day for all Chinese people out there, Happy New Year.

Though I really don't feel like celebrating, due to my work pressure just keep increasing as the day passes. But I like to feel this way, it keeps me feel like I'm utilising my life to the fullest.

Well, not really to the fullest, because I can't do things that I want. But at least working makes me tired and let me worry about things lesser. It won't make me feel sad nor angry at times like this.

I'm feeling ever more optimistic. I don't harbour bad thoughts in my mind no more. I think about all the good things in life and I feel happy about it. Well, if no one ever pisses me off. Then, yeah, even when I'm busy, I feel ever more focus.

I don't have a girl for my entire youth. I'm 19. I'm glad that I don't have a girl till now. Despite the fact that I sometimes daydream of spending great time with "her", I feel that it's a blessing in disguise. I don't have to spend time with her, because this is the time I wouldn't want to be distracted. Another point is that, no matter what happens, I'll cherish my future girl.

All things in life has a purpose. It can make you weaker, yet at the same time, grow up and make you stronger. Perspective in life will change. Every time you fail is a stepping stone of success. And that's gonna be my point of view.

Now, we choose our lives. When we meet up with a problem, sometimes it's best to work on it. Sometimes it's best to runaway from it. And sometimes, it's best to leave it till next time to work on it. There's no right or wrong in life. You decide the contrast of the grayscale in life.

Yes, some people can handle things well, some don't. But everyone is different others. There's no one the same. There's no human beings that has the same fingerprints. That's how special everyone is. Some people has their own talents, and that makes everyone unique.

If you ever think you are the most emo-shit around the world... I have to say that, you're not. There's always a mountain higher. A hole deeper. There're defintely someone that are far worst than most of us.

If you ever stumbled over a question like this : "Define Cool." Most people will answer : "His hair, his outfit, his words."
To me, cool is accepting yourself for who you are. And displaying a style that no one will have. Of course, in a good way.
So if someone ask me, am I cool? I'll say, yeah. Well at least to myself.
And to all the teenagers out there who are flaunting their cool-ness with their outfit and physical style, you all are just too common.
Your outfits are cool, not YOU at all.

So, change your perspective in life. You'll be happier and definitely love yourself more.
I don't really love myself because I have a tummy. But I will if I work towards it. Haha, nope. I just love how the way I changed.

I don't have to change everything about me. But just changing my thoughts are good enough.

So change yours if you are like the way I WAS.
=)

Peace to all brothers and sisters reading this. =)

busy

2009-01-23T00:16:00.020+08:00

if we put our heart and soul into our work, and concentrate it well with little distractions. guess what, your work will be soon done in no time.

i always claim that we have not much time left for our assignments. in fact, in the working world, a week is good enough for us to complete most of them.
maybe cuz we're having lessons at the same time.

i don't know why but i like to be busy now. with a little resting time would be dope. even though i'm having 5 to 6 hours of sleep everyday, it's worth it, cuz i feel accomplishment in my work. not to say that they are good, but at least to me, it's fun! =)

Erica said she doesn't like my work. it's okay, everyone has different taste. Aimran said mine sound like bomberman. And I find my work is damn different from others. So, thumbs up for that, and it ain't that strange, I like it after doing some editing. =)

Believe in what you see, and for our case, believe in what you hear. Listen to suggestion, consider them to your work. But you hold the will to control that.

I realised how much time I wasted by playing games all these time. I should get down to work and practice my keyboards etc and enjoy this life.

I've grown up, a little =)

??/

2009-01-20T23:53:00.035+08:00

my mother told me just a while ago - life is short, do what you want to do before you're gone.

she's contradicting when she said that to me.
well, at least to me.

i feel that i'm not loyal at all. i just won't stand up for myself, or at least for my friend.

i don't wish to lose any of 'em, i want a win-win situation.
but it seems that i'm just in the middle of my crossroads, to where i'll go - that's unknown.

i am indecisive, i am useless.
i rather be dead than decide to choose which route i'll take.
i can't bear to see my loved ones hurt.
but at the same time i can't bear to see myself hurt.
every second just pass, and every delay hurts me.

i don't wish to do anything secretive, i won't be proud doing it, or be one..

~~~~

if i die, without pursuing what i want, then i'll die with regrets.
i really will.

sad to say but no one in my family understands me.
understands what i pursue.
is there anyone that i can turn to and support me?

sigh.

time.

2009-01-20T00:47:00.003+08:00

Assignments aren't piling up anymore. But assignments are just a BOMB on my table, ours i meant. All the due date of assignments are terrible, hope to finish ASAP!

.......

Rex lacks of time.
Rex can't control time, but can control the assignments.

God bless me, bless us with the will to finish this course.

Peace.

brother firdaus. =) fate.

2009-01-19T01:16:00.011+08:00

you know sometimes, you just wanna know someone that you met just somehow on a certain day. you wanna chat and just know more friends. sometimes, fate is in your hands, if you take an extra effort in knowing something about that someone, you're sure to be able to talk to him or her.

if fate permits, i'd like to do so.
=)

basic

2009-01-15T23:43:00.002+08:00

hello people, =)

tomorrow's medical checkup, i'm worried. and tired. extremely tired. and worried.
but i'm still happy. =)

i like to be busy, and do what i like to do. this assignment 4 for MUMI bomberman, i really like my work and enjoy doing it. i like it. =)

We have a basic ground that we're on. So stay that way.

Hope everything will be fine!

booboo

2009-01-12T01:38:00.002+08:00

haha, i was watching chris brown ft. elmo - see the sign.

i've posted it here, the video, it's a cool and damn cute video. haha! look at the ending scene, Chris Breezy is walking in a funny way! haha.
but yes, it's damn cute! damn damn cute! haha.
with all the lyrics and melody and the background scenes.

i'm happy today. yes. but tired. haha.
good night everyone.

thank you bro. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elmo come take a walk with me!
haha.

674.

work...

2009-01-11T03:11:00.003+08:00

Today, saw the youthianz perform. Glad they could do it without me. I can just go on with my life soon enough.

I feel like performing one last time before school ends, before ns starts. And I would like to perform my song - Lovesick.

~~~

I still remember what you say - "Cherish the friendship.

Peace to all.
675.

typical.

2009-01-08T23:26:00.035+08:00

Typical Chinese Ah Bengs and Malay Muds. Dress up so cool, wanna act cool, think that using vulguarities are cool.
But... they lose their cool whenever they use 'em.

Typical Ah Lians and Minas. Dress up so nice, make up so nice, "REVEAL" so nice.
But... once they open their mouth.... whole image gone.

~~~~~~~~~

Appearance is just a vague impression of one. They do all these because they want attention, but unwanted attention is what they get. They don't like themselves, so they dress up nicely and to an extent, more efforts in dressing up than others.

Accept yourself, accept your life.

destroys human

2009-01-06T00:24:00.007+08:00

Wealth, Fame, and Man/Woman destroys one's life.

Not really destroys, but let me just illustrate 'em.

Wealth : You can use wealth to bribe people, resorting in underhand methods.
Fame : You will ignore Lowly-class people.
Man/Woman : Makes you do adultery, or even the thought of that.

~~~~~~~~~

So, be mindful about these things.
Everyone is equal. Share your wealth.
And be professional to only your love(s) of your life.

Peace.

bro, i'm sorry, cuz i love you a lot.

2009-01-04T21:49:00.016+08:00

Today is a rough day. Rather, this year, is a rough year.

I don't have the ability to be good in my words, neither have I the ability to communicate my information well. I feel a need to go back to Primary School to learn my English again. And communication skills as well.

Life's already a really big turn. And now, it's another harsh turn.
But now... keep it steady, your Brothers will hold on for you.
And you have to stay strong and focus in that faith.

Whatever happened has happened, with a purpose. We have a choice to break it, or make it even stronger, we decide.

...... I'm tired, I want a break. but..

I'm not alone, I have my Brothers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(apologies)

681 days & 2 hours

pissed.

2009-01-04T00:29:00.009+08:00

I just felt depressed over it.

I don't wanna do anything about it. I don't even want to help at all.
For forcing me to do things I don't wanna do.
For forcing me to stop doing things I wanna do.

I am selfish, yes. How I wish I can do what I want.
I don't wanna live my life this way.

Boo, life kinda sucks now.
Have to move back even when I saw the light.

new year.

2009-01-02T01:01:00.005+08:00

Every kind of celebration, especially big ones celebrated by mostly everyone, it may seems to be happy. Yet you never know how much people will use this chance to commit crimes.

~~~~

Girls are asking for troubles nowadays. They're asking for it.

Fashion.... or....

~~~~

Just hope there'll be lesser problems to the world....

Hope there's less rumours in the world...

~~~~

Just hope.... I'll make it through...

Peace.

Tests

2008-12-27T01:53:00.038+08:00

It's a test of faith and challenge to whatever coming my way.

My mother's worried for what I may become as a Person.
My father's worried for my future/wife/kids.

What I say is...

Every obstacles can make me fall, can slow me down, can make me want to give up. But any experiences will make me stronger, both physically and Mentally. And let time be my testimonial of faith. Let every obstacles be my testimonial of faith. Let everything, good or bad, be my testimonial of faith.

Afterall, I'm a human, we all are humans. We decide our emotions. We decide our thinkings. We decide to take whatever, and dispose whatever. Most importantly, we decide our lives.

And I decide to choose a path, be it fast or slow, be it dangerous or safe, be it happy or sad, be it worthy or not, be it enjoyable or not.
Every path has it's own goods and flaws. And to me, I won't shun away from any bad stuffs and only enjoy the good.

because...

Everything good that I meet is a blessing.
Everything bad that I meet is just probably a test or a challenge, and it may be a blessing in disguise.

So everything now, will be more clear and open. And I don't have to be sad that much.

Right now, I can say that, every bad things that happened to me, recently, I won't brood over it so much. I'm clear, and I'm happy.

And ever optimistic.

emailsss -.-

2008-12-24T01:34:00.009+08:00

You know it's pissing if you don't receive a mail or a reply from almost from Email or Sms.

Well, JUST happened to me. and thus, if they don't do so, I should show no interest to them after that.

Next time if you send an Email, and if it's important, do state this line......

"Upon receiving, please acknowledge it."

Acknowledging is the most important part, I didn't receive anything and then I have to find sky high and do everything in a short time with little preparation.

Acknowledging to one's message is quite vital to one's planning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Never mind about that, it's maybe a blessing in disguise. Still, I'm happy. Just venting out some frustration and boom, you have to let go of it, and continue to live on, so that's what I'm doing.

=)

Oh yes, I'll announce something soon, where everyone will see it.

soon.

diana MENDES!

2008-12-22T01:16:00.002+08:00

I've learnt something more about her by chatting with her. she's a nice girl. i'm just glad i talked to her. and i ain't so want to have her so badly. it's just nice to chat with someone. =)

everything happens for a purpose. if it's a bad one, it may be a blessing in disguise.

that's how i think now, and how Optimistic I could ever be.

I'm glad. =)

Nordiana

2008-12-20T23:02:00.036+08:00

I've no idea why, I don't really like her, she doesn't distract me, neither does she attract me. She's fierce-looking, like she can just give you a punch that can make you fly. She's not typical. She has her own smile. She has several faces when she feel happy, sad, bored, whatever. And I don't even like her at all from the start.

She's like another friendship of mine. My thoughts of her grew better, gradually overtime and then she just caught me in the eye by just how she does her thing. Accepting that she's actually kinda not like any other typical girls, she has her unique thing, unspeakable of, and causes me to get drown by it unknowingly till now.

I don't intend to tell her I like her, or maybe so. Or I'll just say things like she's beautiful and she's unique from other typical girls. And I don't really have to go into a relationship with her or whatsoever. It'll be just fine that we're just friends and so on. Afterall, she's taken. =)

~~~~~

At this point of my life, I'm contented with what I have. Not really about everything, but just comparing myself to a less fortunate one, can explain everything.
Every good things that happen is a gift from God.
And every bad things is a challenge to test your ability from God.

That's how life becomes more interesting. Yep.

So don't give up, because even you don't get to reach the final point of the race, your reward is the enriching experience.

And, smile more =)
Be happy, Think happily, Live happily. =)

Peace be upon everyone.

GOSSIPS! AHHH! and of course. DIANA.

2008-12-19T00:18:00.015+08:00

Gossips are BAD! So don't do so.
Nah, just saying. Just hope that if you Gossip, don't drift the matter too far such that others might interpret wrongly. Just Gossip for the fun of it =) and forget it somehow. HAHA!

Handling yourself as a person is the most important, and of course, don't sink yourself too much or you'll end up drowning yourself. =)

~~~~~~~

I never been so Optimistic in my life. Though still meet up with some bad experiences, I learn how to appreciate all these Tests. I'll smile my way home, or when I'm alone. Thinking about bad stuffs, but making feel like it's just Tests in life, I'll get by.
=)

~~~~~~~

A girl can be a beautiful distraction, and somehow I caught her in my eyes. Not really at first sight, but it developed somehow. And she's fine. =)

Whatever it is, a smile would be delicate. =)

~~~~~~~

Everything has a purpose. So live with it. =)

religion as one, being a human as one.

2008-12-17T00:41:00.008+08:00

Come to think of it, almost all Religions have the same teachings, but different beliefs.

The most important thing of all...
is how you handle yourself and others as a Human.

...........

Giving a smile is a charity.
=)

Test of Faith

2008-12-16T00:16:00.029+08:00

Some stages of life are easy-going.
But some are difficult.

And sometimes it's a test - a Test of Faith.
I'll get by.

religious point of view.

2008-12-15T00:51:00.010+08:00

hello. =)

it came to a decision once i know more about Religions.
and the answer is simple.

it's the Shahada.

A lifetime's commitment.
Hope my faith will sustain me till my life ends.
Soon-to-be....

Allah.

bro, great day man.

2008-12-11T00:12:00.085+08:00

I learnt one thing today, well maybe not, maybe it's a RECAP or something. It's a nice phrase from somewhere. By someone great. It's not exactly word to word, but the idea is....

This line is from me...
- " Enjoy the prescence, Understand the absence. "

And another, not from me....
- " Good things are God's Gift, Bad things are just a Test from God. "

I'm not so sure about the second one, but you can see the similarites among both.

~~~~~~~

My thrist from these Religions' issues are growing for more. What and so on, etc. There's one more thing you should know.

How to know whether it's a Religion or not? Simple, ask yourself this questions....

(1) Is it how it affects YOUR life?

and...

(2) Do you submit yourself to God(s)? (Exclude Buddhism because the Buddha himself claimed that Buddhism isn't a Religion.)

So... if you're answer is Yes, and No. It's most likely a Philosophy. If it's Yes for both, it's more likely to be a Religion.

And for me, I don't believe is polythesis (Believing in more than a God/Deity etc.)

~~~~~~~~~

My next quests are to find more about (1) Christianity, and (2) Similarities/Differences between Christianity and Catholics.

So if there's anything that you know, I'll be glad if you would msn me and chat about it. And try to keep it open, and don't try and let your personal influences affect the speech and purity of the religion.

~~~~~~~~~~

But I sort of have an answer in the back of my head. The reasons are...

(1) Logical
(2) Signs
(3) My own philsophy - matches
(4) Beliefs
(5) Test of time
(6) Facts/Undistorted Truths

But still, I want to have at least a General Idea of other religions, that I may in the end resulting to be that religion, and also to Respect 'em Religions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peace to all Religious Differences, Peace to all Colour Mixes, and Peace to all beings.

Thank you.

please do correct my flaws

if any

bro, don't leave me.

2008-12-10T00:41:00.051+08:00

hello. =)

okay, i've been quite addicted to facebook recently. and it's personal to me. so if u don't know me, don't add me cuz i'll be pissed cuz i want it to be only close friends. if not, just add me in friendster, i'll accept it anyway.

so... i still in the doubts over what to choose over. it's not so simple that i can just pick it right away, can't be so slip sloppy when it's this serious issue. i'm tired still, from work. but i'll read up when i'm free.

but i have some kind of vision in my head, some visions.... i need to clarify it further before i decide.

any decision made, i hope people will still respect me for who am i. but i know i will face some peer pressure and of course, family pressure.

and that's when i'll need guidance from God.

give me time, and the wisdom to understand, and the wisest decision that i won't regret.

` * i just want to have faith in God, so that i'll have faith in myself too. i don't really know how to put it in words but, i just hope God will strengthen my soul.
* and not to drag on or anything once i have the answer, i'll submit myself to whichever God i decide to take refuge in.

again, i'm still a noob in all these. it's one of the hardest decision in life that i want to explore. i just hope God will answer my question.

thank you.

bro, thank you.

2008-12-08T21:01:00.037+08:00

hmm, maybe i'm a lil too noob at this, that's why now i'm like this.

i'm gonna to read more, and then still, spread my thoughts here.
just to share my thoughts here.

not just to show how my thinking changed, but to actually remind me of how i've changed.
so bear with my noobness.

a decision won't be made so easily like choosing some shirt.
much more careful thought will be made.

be whoever above me, guide me to my exact answer.

thank you.

bro, nice chat man.

2008-12-08T02:36:00.103+08:00

sup people =)

really had a nice chat with bro. so what we chatted about? boo, nothing XD haha, well, maybe the next few chunk will tell you something...

i know somehow, i will choose a religion to my preference. not only that, choosing a religion that i will commit to as well. Buddhism isn't a religion from scratch, even claimed by Buddha himself. i'll eventually choose some religion that i want / need.

i'm born a chinese. i speak english. my skin colour is yellow, and i speak english, again. so Christianity is my choice.... (NO!) i won't choose a religion because of my skin colour or by what language i speak, it's not wise at all. well, i'm not saying that but still, Christianity is one of my choice, cuz it's a religion. and of course, one of the dominating religions across the globe.

one of the weird things in my mind, not really weird but uncommon is that, i would rather be a Muslim than a Christian. reason being that how distorted Christianity is brought to mankind now in churches, not matter how true can it be, it's still not the authentic one. who knows that even Islam is the same as well. nobody know which is the truth, until someone holy comes down from Heaven. but still, a choice has to be made....

not really now, but after i got an answer for my own, i'll decide my life, my philosophy, and my religion.

i'll explore much till i have an answer.

so don't be surprised if i have a Christian name or something, or suddenly i'm Mohamad XXX.

and just to make my stand extremely clear, the thought of me converting to Islam is not because of my bro, but it's because I respect the religion, and i believe i'll be a much better person.

anyway, i won't be converting to any religion until i found the answer.
if i had an answer, i will immediately convert myself.
i won't linger around until i'm old and helpless then i seek refuge in God, Jesus, or Allah.

God, please guide me. Fellow friends, please guide me too.

Christianity or Islam?
.
.
.

Peace... lies with in.

~~~~~

thank you.

bro, my best bro, my best friend.

2008-12-07T01:36:00.083+08:00

hi. =)

some friends are worth the sacrifice. some friends are worth the shitface. some friends are worth the silence. some friends are worth the crowd. some friends are worth the money. some friends are worth the love.

to me, some friends are worth nothing.
and of course, some friends are worth priceless.

to a pure and sincere heart, i respect you. despite anything bad, you're just someone i salute to. i don't really know you inside out, but i know you well enough... well enough. =)

and i'm glad that you make friends not for the sake of money, but for social reasons. you may be making connections, but you won't neglect your friends. you treat almost everyone equal, and i respect that, cuz it's hard to do so.

you make me appreciate friendship, appreciate family, appreciate fate, appreciate life, appreciate myself. not only these, but also other cultures, other races, other religions, other philosophies etc.

you're a rare gem to find. thank you.

~~~~~~~

we are one human race.
treat everyone equal.
stop these racial discrimination.

and one more goal on my list is : "No discrimination".

Respect other people, my friends =)

bro, i love you so.

2008-12-06T00:31:00.028+08:00

sup people. =)

i'm tired from school, assignments and all. and so, finally, officially holidays!
BUT still have to go back school and rush my assignments. 3 week break, yet have to do many many assignments.

i read one more chapter today. eyes are dang tired. but i still manage to finish the chapter. shall read more soon when i'm free.

the book is really awesome for me, and i've learnt many things.

brother, thank you.

bro, i'm sorry, but i love you a lot.

2008-12-05T01:56:00.055+08:00

hello.
the video is so booboo! and i've watched it like 20 times already. haha, damn cute. =) it cheers me up, and i hope it does the same to you as well.

i was worried, damn worried cuz anything worse could have happen, but i'm glad it didn't. it's my fault, so it's my utmost apology for that. i can't wash my sins away, but i hope i can use a sincere heart to redeem for myself. allow me to do so, aight?

it's officially holiday after the interviews i had this afternoon. but had tons of assignments to finish. hope i can have a plan out by this weekend, and i'll follow closely.

i've yet read much of the book bro lent me. i read a chapter, and a couple of points that interest me. but i will finish the book, so just to share with you guys.

this point, is "HUGS". yes, hugs are scientifically proven that it's good for people. obviously not too much or else it'll express some other thoughts. but it's good for blood circulation, and keeps one energetic. there're some other points i would have missed out but, you get the point, hugs are good. =)
no wonder i like them.
not too much la duh. =)

yup, and so, i had nata de coco today. YUMMY!
BUT.... it will be better if someone shares it with me.
then it will be DOUBLE YUMYUMMY YUM YUM!

bro, looking forward to that. =)

bro, please cheer up. please.

2008-12-03T21:32:00.072+08:00

today, i'm sad. sadness is overwhelming me. but i still believe in hope. i believe in one thing. i'm not gonna give it up. because this ship is strong.

of course, i can't help feeling sad most of the time. but i hope will shine it through. i'll promise i'll be strong, for the ship, and me. i won't be giving this up, cuz i wasn't gave up at all. i don't want to witness any wreckage, and i won't make it happen. so please don't...

really, i can't help feeling sad, but i still have a choice, and i chose to be happy. because i still have a hope to cling on to, so i won't give up. just like you won't give me up. and it's a bliss.

and not to make this post so emo, enjoy this booboo video. it's damn booboo. =)

(IT'S BELOW! ENJOY!)

~~~~~~

i'm hanging on....
cheer up... cheer up!

bro, sorry.

2008-12-01T22:19:00.011+08:00

i'm not sure of what to do, i'm kinda confused. i'm not comfortable doing this alone. i need advice, i hope the book has what i want to know.

tho i'm not emo about that, but somehow it will affect me. so... just.

gimme time
give me

bro, i've changed much thanks to you.

2008-11-30T23:42:00.117+08:00

hello. =)

~~~~~~~

yup, today i went to my temple to help my dad out. i used to be so pissed at helping him but i guess, i have to help somehow. though i slack, cuz i wasn't helping much as i'm not told to do much either. so i slacked. haha. but i didn't even try to fight back and come up with lame excuses. (yay, is it a change?)

well, there's some irritating people i used to think of them as well. very irritating like, sian, get off me and so on. but this time round, i don't know where do i have the patience to talk to them slowly and try my best, nicely. i don't even have the thought of like, GET OFF ME or whatever. maybe that's how people think of me. but i'm glad i'm not such a bastard to ask them to back off or whatever.

though quite lonely this time round, i wasn't quite sad or emo about anything. cuz not much friends were there, but i'm still kinda looking forward to a better day.

~~~~~~~~~

it's good that you noticed some changes in you, for the better. though i know i've yet changed much, i'm still looking forward to find the real me. =)

today, i've met up with my disappointment. i wondered why. and then i read the book bro lent me. just to give you some nutshells that i find it very meaningful. i shall quote them here.

~~~~

"Most people live lives of quiet desperation". We each have our insecurities. Refuse to live in fear of a bunch of people, who may, like you, be quietly desperate!

you know what this line means? i shall briefly explain.

have you ever wondered what it's like to say "HELLO" to a pure stranger/neighbour etc? you start thinking that, i shall say "HI" only after he says. and what if he didn't say? you claimed him to be an unfriendly neighbour of yours. now, put him to your shoes, he's probably thinking the same way that you're thinking too, so don't let this happen, you might miss out a good neighbour/friend. and that's what i did before. don't let it slipped by!

and another point....

you don't get out of a hole by pulling others into it.

know what this line means? EXPLAIN AGAIN! haha.

you know when you are emo, and then you start finding ways to bring your self-confidence level UP to your friend's level. but, you might bring DOWN your friend's self-confidence level. let's say, your song sucks, and then you start criticising your friend's song. you find faults on others to bring them down. and then to make matters worse, you purposely make their self-confidence level way below YOURS. and now you're higher than them.

you should climb out of hole instead of pulling people down.

~~~~~~~~~~~

you know, it's great to have someone who's there who help you change. i hope i ain't pulling him down. =)

assalamualaikum.
i can hear an echo (Wa'salam).
=)

bro, you make me look at other angle of things.

2008-11-30T01:14:00.086+08:00

everyone can make a change. if only they knew about it, and then change. sometimes, you need help from others to do that change.

~~~~

i hate hypocrites. i hate people who are ignorant. i hate people who say this but still do it. i hate people who purposely make sarcastic remarks when your defences are down. i hate people who act dumb on things that they don't wanna admit. i hate....

and the list goes on... and on, forever.

i read the book, the author mentioned : "instead of disliking the things he/she do, how about look at his/her strengths and like 'em?"
yes, it's true, but i can't find anything good. and it has hurted me deeply into my heart.

i almost got over it, and then i was pierced again through my heart. and then i was stuck again.

~~~~~~~~~~

i admit that i am sometimes too indecisive and such, and sometimes a pest to others. i know it's hard to change a habit and so i'm trying hard to change. even if the rate is 0.00001%, i know i'm changing. i just hope it won't take forever. i admit my flaws. i admit my desires. but, i admitted, and now, i'm changing.

just when i was about to recover.... ---" what a stab into my heart. " and i hate you for this, and that, and whatever.

bro said :
"don't hate the person, but hate his doings"

i gotta agree on that. of course, with much thought, not just because he's my bro. but it really makes sense.

people will change, some won't. but i believe that person will.

i'll pray for all beings to be good as a person.

~~~~~~~~~~

i'm glad there's someone who's got my back.
=)

bro, thank you. i love you lots.

2008-11-29T00:10:00.074+08:00

hey, just to show you...

this is how i'll look like if i'm a Muslim.
haha
but i won't be a Muslim UNLESS i really want to be one, or need to be one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

i learn much about religion lately. and i learn how to respect others once i learn more about them. and my philosophy of my life change too.

if someone asked me what's my religion, i'll say i don't have any, cuz buddhism isn't a religion. it's a philosophy, even claimed by the buddha himself.

if next time that there's a god i would have faith in it, i may actually convert to that, but now, no. but who knows the future?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

much people do know about the mumbai attacks, and shall give some prayers to those affected by that.

it's just such a sore to see people turn so violent and start to kill lives. and it's very sad to see them people that can't differentiate the colours black and white.

the Earth is really tearing itself apart. so try and save it. i'm not being an environmentalist here but, don't do evil stuff, that end up having humans killing humans. be rational and clear. don't be like those mumbai evil people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the world may end soon. who knows what will happen in near future? appreciate what you got, and be contented for what you have. if you want something, earn it. don't force it. and really, cherish those who cherishes you. no regrets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

bro, this friendship, i'll cherish. thank you.
i love you brotha. may we all find peace.

assalamualaikum.

bro, i love ya =)

2008-11-27T23:14:00.041+08:00

WE decide our lives.

every road has its own advantages and disadvantages. not matter whether it's a success or a failure, the journey is the most important.

additional help from loved ones are the best gift you'll ever need.
they aren't the greatest people in life, but they can provide the greatest help in life.

i'm fighting a war that i'm creating. by doing that, i hope i can conquer them and other wars that i may face later in life. i'll be in control, and i'll be winning the war.

appreciate everything around you, especially those who mean a lot to you, and you who mean a lot to them. don't be shy to say this, as you'll never when you can't say it.

i love you, brother, sister, friends, family, relatives etc.

we may be influenced by idols and friends and society, but we decide whether we want to use them in our lves. don't change for something, someone, trend whatever, but change for yourself, change for yourself, that you want to be. yup. =)

We decide our lives.
Don't change for someone/thing/trend, but change for yourself.

=)

thanks. assalamualaikum.

bro, thank you.

2008-11-27T00:17:00.089+08:00

don't change for someone, but change for yourself.
my analogy : don't change your attitude because of a girl, but change your attitude because you want to improve yourself as a person.

~~~~

Soccer

today we played soccer, abel azlan and bro.
4 of us against some Indian people, 4v4. then reyza came and so on.
i can't play soccer well, as i'm always kanchiong when i'm handling the ball, so i fall back to become a keeper.

my first save of the day, hurted my left thumb, and it's hurting now. haha.
i didn't save many shots, but still, i saved quite a few shots and i'm glad that i did.
even though we lost, but i think my efforts are quite good! (not trying to be PROUD or what), i'm just glad that i did what i could, and try my best in not disappointing my team as much.
this pain of my thumb makes me happy (no, i'm no sadist), cuz this pain is from the source of friendship. and i'm glad i'm playing soccers with my fellow brothers.

Reliving the days.

bro and i was talking. yes, when i was a kid i played soccer, and had some good memories, and then reliving the times now is quite a joy, though i suck still, but i'm glad i'm taking a step, or i've already taken that step, but continuing.

Some changes.

I remembered in my year 1 and 2, i'm not so outgoing, as in i won't hang out with my DMAT friends, and i realised i missed out all the good stuffs. but now, i realised that hanging out with them can be a great joy to me, and i'm really enjoying it.
and back to the main topic of today... just to reCAP. lol.

don't change for someone, but change for yourself.

i'm not changing because i want to be known and stand out in DMAT, but i'm changing, because i want to not only hang out with my friends, but also to make a step out of my quiet boundaries and improve my bonding with people, working together, and become slightly more sociable.

i'm happy to notice the change i'm taking, and i'm happy because i make a step that i can be happier.

bro, thanks for the line that you've said. i'll stay strong for the better me.
Grateful.

bro, feel blessed around you.

2008-11-26T00:03:00.037+08:00

i'm tryin to fight the war, everytime.
to let myself feel all the pain, and slowly understand how to overcome it.
there's a saying, "No pain, no gain".

i'll find peace within me, with help and support, most importantly.

~~~

i'm glad that there's someone who's watching my back.
and constantly prevent me from falling all the way down.
and give an extra push of confidence.

i'm not facing this alone, at last.
at last. =)

bro, it's okay. =)

2008-11-24T23:47:00.055+08:00

enjoy the presence, *understand* the absence.
and i really do enjoy, so don't fret about it.

~~~

i just finished the book, bro lent me. it's a good book. though sometimes it's hard to implement what i've learnt to life almost immediately, i know i would somehow.
the perspective of life, i look now is different. though sometimes i can't help feeling emo and just change like a snap of a finger, i know that it'll always be better sooner or later.

bro, you know how i feel, and just wanna thank you for that.
from the (ROCK) bottom of my heart, i salute you.

assalamualaikum.

*understand*, word changed by bro. before that was "ignored". =)

bro, i love ya.

2008-11-23T21:59:00.006+08:00

chances are what we need.
sometimes, we need many chances for one goal.

i just hope i won't blow it up too much.
sustain.

bro take care =)

2008-11-23T02:46:00.007+08:00

don't give me up, help me. =)

peace

2008-11-21T22:32:00.001+08:00

i need assurance

to fight a war for my...

peace

anywhere!

2008-11-20T02:24:00.012+08:00

when the whole world starts to turn upside down, it'll be great if there's someone you could trust to flip it back up. =)

today, no idea why the girls start to watch some horror movie, then some play horror games, then bro was watching some black magic and saw. what a horrific day.

finally, today was a day that i reach home early! yay, took a nice nap for a reward!

do a bit of work, yet my presentation is not done yet. guess i'll spend the whole night doing it tomorrow. wish me luck for my POD. =)

and yes, "Anywhere" will be coming soon, for this festive season of december. HOPE TO FINISH IT, if not i will release it next year! =)

bro, thanks, as always =)

nice day. yeah.

2008-11-19T01:59:00.021+08:00

hey. today is quite a normal day. just that was so tired from yesterday. 4 hours of sleep, and i'm gonna sleep 4 hours later or so. dang tired.

was so tired just now, and whenever i'm tired, i'll turn emo easily. but remembering that i shouldn't be, and all the hopes and positive pictures in my mind, i just keep going on, though i didn't smile or express any happiness, but i'm glad i'm not emo. just BLANK.

~~~

we had a good chat today. and have a yummy supper together. =)

~~~

quite a great day for me. yes.

assalaamualaikum bro.

19th birthday

2008-11-18T00:43:00.137+08:00

16 November 2008

yesterday, had a family dinner, with dad mom bigbro 2ndbro and his girl. eat at the Soup Restaurant in Century Square. and then come back home and celebrate, and cut cake. =) it's an advance thingy cuz all of them are going overseas while 2ndbro is going back camp.

and here's are some pictures for the day.

~~~~~~

a letter!?
~~~~~~

wth? me?!
~~~~~~

messages!
~~~~~~

ending off with this! Rop Productions! =)
~~~~~~

and so, i'm happy for this birthday. i'm not sad at the very least. happy =)
obviously i have someone to thank for, i'll thank that person soon! anyway, that's all for the day!

~~~~~~
~~~~~~
~~~~~~

scroll down pls =)

~~~~~~
~~~~~~
~~~~~~

17 November 2008

went to school happily! thank you for all the blessing and wishes. =) but still, had to do work cuz of the late submission! ah!! chiong with bro. =)

after work, we slack for a long time in the canteen, just talk. it's very chill. yeah. =)
azlan, reyza, and bro. =)

and so, we head off to SAKURA at CITY HALL! to eat our dinner! sorry no pic, we had a few nice food!

- TOM YAM SOUP! - KANGKONG! - SAMBAL SOTONG! - HOTPLATE CHICKEN WITH DRY CHILLI! - SAMBAL FISH!

super duper meal! damn nice. and i treat them, cuz i wanna treat them. and cuz i don't want them to trouble so much about money issue, so i decided to treat them. YAY! and i did!

and then we head to swensen's at MARINA SQUARE! while we happen to pop by HMV, and so... i bought this.

yup, T-PAIN's new album with severe case of autotune!!! i've still yet listen to it , but i'll find time to listen all and i shall rate this album!

and so, we continue to swensen! and shocked, found out vera and ginny and another junior (johnnydepth - correct?) were there. I'M SHOCKED LAH.

and seriously, i was surprised la. SURPRISED! really, i don't know what happen, suddenly... this happens....

i was like, HUH? what happen? why suddenly got cake la, so i keep asking how come? i didn't know it was planned la. i thought it's just coincidence that ginny and vera were there.

and this is on the cake =) and there are exactly 19 candles, OMG! =) and i made 3 wishes!

1. I wish everyone to be HAPPY! =)
2. I wish our POD and all whatever assignments we do will be SUCCESSFUL! =)
and the...
3rd wish is..................................................

ok, and so we eat the cake. while i was having the cake, i was like, thankful, and happy that i could eat this cake. happily, seriously, very happily. i never had a cake, enjoyed with friends, and really enjoyed it, happily. and this time, i did. =)

so.... some pic we took la...

~~~~~~~~~

EVERYONE! =)
~~~~~~~~~

THE FINANCIAL LADY! =)
~~~~~~~~~

yup, and i'm really happy today. cuz i'm really surprised. and seriously, this year, for my birthday, i didn't really expect many people to wish me wishes and all via SMS or Friendster or whatever. i'm still happy whether who send or not. obviously, i appreciate those who really send me wishes and all. thanks people =)

I'm just really happy that all my wish are carried out on my birthday.
1. Treat my friends food.
2. Have a nice birthday cake.

I wanna thank you guys again. Ginny, Vera, Johnnydepth?, Azlan, Reyza.

and the MASTERMIND for my birthday.

my dear bro. thanks for cheering me up a lot these days. and i'm really really much more happy than any other ordinary day. if it isn't for you, i would be celebrating my birthday with the four walls in my room.

this is my happiest birthday i ever had. with family, and friends. i'm very happy =)

i'm glad that god gave me a.....

Caring Brotha.
Peace be upon you always.

happy 19th birthday to me.

happy?

2008-11-16T02:23:00.044+08:00

i read the book bro lent me. well, even it's the first few pages, it just make me happy in a sense. and now i know how retarded i reacted all these time. it's funny at some point, and yeah, i've been through there, so i know and understand what the book is saying.

i'm just glad that bro lend me this book. it make me understand myself better. and i now know how to restrict my emotions and so on.

come to think of it, bro is like my guidance to show my way to my true self. and i'm glad he did show up for me and make me a better person. i salute you for that. =)

i never thought of why am i like this as much as i do now. after reading the book, all i can do is just laugh at my own.

and i think i'm changing. i can tell. my mindset is changing. and most importantly, i'm trying my best to change my attitude and personality. well, i'm still keeping them some but most importantly, i'll keep what's good, and throw away all what's not.

thanks bro. for making this change in me. not matter how long i'll take, i'll make a point now that I WILL CHANGE!

=)

and i'm happy now =)

being happy.

2008-11-15T03:55:00.009+08:00

didn't went school today. yet met up with bro. he performed "now that she knew". nice song. then head off to his house and master our maia songs.

bro lent me a book. - "being happy in teenagers".
i won't try to fake it. cuz i want to be it.

i'll change.

me.

2008-11-14T00:10:00.031+08:00

i cried just now, really cried. but i do feel better now.

i found the root of the problem, and that's me.
but i'm still finding a solution to it. and i thought i found it sometime ago, but i don't. cuz i've been finding it for a long time.

bro, thanks.

i'm finding myself.
to be better.

bro oh bro, mysterious girl

2008-11-12T21:24:00.116+08:00

pod was due today. i handed in time. many didn't, bro didn't. i'm sorry that i didn't help out much.

we talked today, about me. why i was so emo these day and so. but yeah, i just can't help it. sigh. but we talked. =)

i'm clinging onto bro. cuz he's not any other ordinary person to me. someone i respect greatly. salute, for the hopes he's giving me. i just hope i'm not an irritant in anyway.
i'm clinging on this friendship, cuz i cherish it, and i feel it.

~~~~~~~~~

was so tired today. about to fall asleep while standing on the train today. got off the train at tampines. saw ths girl, i was attracted to her. didn't see her face, but saw her back. i've no idea why i'm attracted to her. i sorta like chase her. but my ezlink has no cash, so i go top up. then i missed her. i don't know where she went. but she gave me an impression.
hope to see that girl again. =)

maybe i need love, to be loved again. but i won't neglect bro and friends around me, if i have a girl. the thought of spending time with my love will be a sweet to my heart.just hope to have a girl that i love and she love me as well.

~~~~~~~~~

i didn't know it'll go this way. well, it's expected but i didn't take it. but what has shown is reality. can't hide it if it's done too openly. really, broke my heart, but i've started to mend it back quite some time already. i hope it'll be fixed soon. *lovesick

~~~~~~~~~

anyway, i'll still be delivering this message to you, the song for you. but i guess it's the final one too. i don't want to be lingered anymore. i'll be uploading "Lovesick" soon, and i'll post it in my blog too. if u want the song, you can also ask me on msn.

~~~~~~~~~

well that's all. bro and that mysterious girl made my day.
but i won't neglect bro cuz of a girl. =)
i'll try and compromise.

i'm tired, we're all tired.
peace.

tired, rushing assignments

2008-11-11T01:27:00.010+08:00

everyone's rushing assignments now. till late night since last two weeks.

bro seems a lil worried for his POD on the skill sets. no matter what bro, it'll be great POD still. =)

take care everybody, while i still try hard to be optimistic.

boo. =(

2008-11-10T00:29:00.004+08:00

am i irritating such that no one would reply me? or even ask about me?

maybe i am. maybe i'm nothing to the world.
oh well, i'm losing faith to myself and to everyone around me.....

2008-11-09T02:04:00.059+08:00

sup. (=

yesterday, i was the sound engineer for my bro. i regretted not helping him much or reject his offer the past year or so. but i glad i'm helping him now, cuz i really do enjoy recording him and listen to his wicked harmonies and song.

bro, i thought u were gonna ignore me after they left, and when u took out ur ipod and then listen with both ears. but glad u let me hear some nice stuff.

~~~~~~~~~~

i know i'm boring and conservative and unable to crack some funny jokes and i'm lame and so on. that's why i always feel left out. sigh, sometimes i hope i'm some other guy where still, i could add in to some fun, and not some cold lame jokes to the group.
i'm sorry. )=

~~~~~~~~~~

hmm, sometimes i think i'm really not worthy to be friends with any of you guys. cuz i really feel that i'm dumb, and yes, i really do doubt myself when i'm around all of you. i'm nothing to all of you.....

but bro, you still remember you told me this? - "cherish this friendship". and yes, i have to say, "i really do". well, i can't ask for much and ask you to cherish me as your friend, cuz i'm really not worthy to be with friends with anyone of you. all of you are the genius while i'm the ordinary one. well, slightly off to the dumber side, that's me.

then again, bro, thanks again. for letting me feel the power of this friendship. whenever you feel that this friendship isn't sailing the right way, just tell me.... i'll be alright.
i guess.

~~~~~~~~~~~

and when it comes to love, i don't know. i can't say i love you. but i would say that i've loved you before. and if anything change from now, i don't dare thinking of the better. cuz i've doubted this love, and doubted you already.

i guess i have to find a new love. but thanks again for making me do those things for you. i hope you like it somehow. =)

~~~~~~~~~~~

what can i say, i'm kinda like a loser. sometimes i wish i'm more talented and more approachable. sigh.... what to do???

*"just rot and die!"
yeah? =)

=(

2008-11-07T03:00:00.018+08:00

i was left out, again.
ignored. no one cares.

* if you have noticed, i don't like people to be lonely. so whenever i see you people alone or what, i'll always accompany you. i'll always stay "out" and look whether people is left out. i just don't want you people to be alone. but it always seems to be that no one cares about me. no one really do.......

now i really wish to really hug someone real tight and just cry out loud, cuz it's hurting every bit of my heart. but no one will ever want to hug me real tight, cuz i'll simply be ignored.

time is ticking, my birthday is coming. i just don't want to be left out in my birthday, cuz then i won't be having any other special days in my life.

i'm......

bro, i miss ya =)

2008-11-05T00:06:00.079+08:00

hello! =)

ok, i've been coming home late, about almost 10 to 11 every night now and then. rushing for my assignments. sometimes it just make me sick of going to school one day cuz i really scared of just faint on the spot or so. now, i could hardly catch a breath, my chest hurts somehow. i don't know why. i guess i really need to rest.

these days also, spending the time in school till night. these two days are not so fun without my dear bro around. i do miss him. because he's a bro to me, i just pray to hope he's safe in his trip, and i know god will bless him. =)

~~~~~~~~

sometimes i wonder is it just me? why did i fall in love with Popish R&B music with autotune and all? why didn't i love rock and other genres as much as other of my friends do? sometimes, i'm really left out in the class, i know. cuz it seems like i'm the only one interested in this. and i really really feel left out. while talking about all the other geniuses' work, mine is just plain POPish 4/4 some major scale, sometimes minor. while the rest are some 5/8 and some scale that are uncommon. i sometimes really feel like just emo at one corner and don't feel about anything, oh, anyway i'm just too conservative at almost all the time, so it'll make no diff.

~~~

--> that's how i feel now. that's why i feel left out. that's why i feel like crying at times and just ignore bout everything. that's how i become so distant between my closeD friend. so don't blame me if we have become slightly distant or so. just take it that we have our differences, alright?

~~~~~~~~

~~ but when there's someone, someone who is there to be willing to reach out his hand and lift you up, someone who do think that your stuff is still good among the norm, someone who really understands and has about the same interest as you, and someone who is really to help you, will you be willing to grab his hand and push yourself up with his help?
- i won't hesitate to grab his hand and even give myself and extra push. because no one has make me believe in what i do is good. no one has make me feel that my prescence is worth. no one has make me believe in myself in doing what i like and what i really want to do.

again, bro, this is all out for you. i really appreciate what you have done to me.
i really salute you, bro.

thanks for giving me all these hopes.

'cause when there's hope, there's dream. and when there's dream, there's passion. and when there's passion, almost everything will seem possible.

it's really dope to have you as my brotha! =)

love...

2008-11-02T23:09:00.028+08:00

hello people. yup, hi.

these days made me think of the love i'll be having or i want to have if i have a girl. where we'll be going, what we'll be doing, and what will keep me smiling and keep you happy etc. it's quite sweet though, but i won't be having it. those lil' things that i'll do for you, and you to me.

these day, not only bout love i'm thinking of, but also about friends. i started to think why i would cherish this friendship much more than other friends that i'm usually with. i mean, i still do cherish friendships with all, but this particular one, i'm cherishing more than any others. and i think i know why. cuz he do cherish this friendship as much as i do. and we aren't that picky over lil things like drinks and all. sometimes i treat, sometimes he treat. we won't fight over it, and i'm cool with it.

gotta say that he's my best friend so far in my life. and i feel it, and i know it. yea. =)

well, it's true that if you wanna have friends, you need to spend time with them. quality time that is. =)

take care bro for your trip. see you in a couple of days. =)

lovesick and all....

2008-11-01T02:12:00.027+08:00

hello. =)

today's quite an emo day for me. i wore full black, cept of my skin colour of course and my shoes with white spots all over. nevertheless.......

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was recording my new song - Lovesick today. I could just really imagine you there, and singing it to you. It just gets me emo but at the same time, putting feeling to the song as I was recording.

It's the first emo song that I'm doing. Well, it's kinda R&B-ish with slight soul in it. Gonna say it's quite good though, with some licks and some nice way of the feel I've put in. And of course, with a genius being my sound bro - aeem, it's nice. with autotune!

i'm singing this song for you, and i was writing this song for you, and it's for you.

"i shall post the lyrics up later."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

then went soccer, and had my dinner cum supper at late, 11.30 or so. had a yummy cheeseburger! yay! and a maggi mee! dry one, damn nice. haha!

yup, that's all for today ba. all i wanna say is....

you've got me lovesick, girl.

here you go, lyrics....

(Verse)
I just can’t stop lovin’ you
The way you make me feel about you
Every touch you give with love
It’ll numb my every pain and calm my nerves
So you’re my endless pool of will
That’s how much you mean to me, it’s real
So don’t you be paranoid
Imma be there for you like how I need you
Okay?

(Chorus)
You’ve got me lovesick
Whenever I’m alone I can’t deny
I’m thinking about you all the time
You keep me going on cuz you’re always on mind
Girl, I’m lovesick
Praying for my love to be alright
Dreaming about you day and night
It’s killing me inside for not having you by my side
Oh, I need you

(Verse 2)
I won’t stop lovin’ you
Just the way my heart beats for you
“… …” That’s how it beats for you
So fast, so loud, whenever I’m with you
And it’s true

(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Listen; and it hurts, and it burns, and it cuts, and it tears, and it rips, and it hurts
That’s why the pain subsides when I know you’re near
And you’ll make everything perfect
Cuz you’re my remedy; so be my therapy

(Coda-Chorus)
Lovesick; alone, can’t deny
Thinking all the time; you’re always on my mind
I’m lovesick; I hope that you’ll be alright
Oh, I need you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lovesick, to you.

emo a bit. but.

2008-10-28T00:31:00.027+08:00

hello. yup. hi.

i'm still feeling tired and restless even though i have quite a sleep for the last few days. and on top of that, i've been slacking well but never do much work.

look at my arms, with all these spots and patches of rashes just make me feel sick, never know when it will overpower my immune system. i still believe i have dengue, but i still don't know.

i'm going to have my blood test tomorrow morning, and i hope i'll be fine.

i'm unsure of my health, because i'm uncertain of my will in me.

actually, i can say that i'm quite sad and disappointed in my illness. it has failed its purpose on letting my friends care more about me. well, that's what i'm feeling. despite all those well wishes in msn and all that, hmm, that's that! you get what i mean? i may seem quite unsatisfied with it,but yeah, sorta. and sometimes, i think only if i die, then they'll care more. but i don't wanna die.

all i wanna say is......
"care more about me, aye?"

sometimes i feel, i really feel that my prescence is really really insignificant to the people around me. so.... does it mean i'm really insignificant no matter how good i am? how shit i am? or what i am?

sigh, can't help but to feel emo.

boo.

2008-10-27T00:51:00.013+08:00

ok, i'm defaming myself. for fun sake and just to keep my blog more alive and happy. or maybe it's my last few times doing it... so... yup.

hey! omg, i put on a hairband! cuz my hair is just too irritating so i wanna try, using Azlan's, and yeah, there you go! with a stupid long tongue stickout! haha. how do you like me now? XD
actually, i wanna keep till i can tie, with dreadlocks, omg, that's gonna be dope, but i doubt it'll reach that length. haha. nevertheless, this was what i did on reyza's birthday....

~~~~

what's this?? it's actually a cherry stalk that i put into my mouth (EEE) but tied a knot to it. and i did it in less than 5 mins each! well, the left one is kinda bad. well for the right.....

it looks like this! damn nice right? haha. impressive! but that night i feel damn tired and sick. but heck, it's long over.

yup and so.... i shall end off i guess. good night!

hope this isn't my last few posts. =)

sick

2008-10-25T10:49:00.014+08:00

hey, if you wonder why i didn't post much these days... it's because...

i'm sick (aww~). yeah, not any ordinary sickness like cough or flu. but...

it started on wednesday - headaches, high heat (whole body), kinda like fever, and muscle aches (due to workout).

on thursday - headaches still, quite bad, muscle aches, nausea.

friday - headaches, muscle aches, nausea, some measel-like rash.

thus first thought is, omg, dengue i might have contracted. and i think i have it. yet i don't wanna go to the clinic or hospital cuz i dun wan to waste time doing all those stuffs. and it's not my first time, nor second. it's my 3rd. and the bad thing is... each time you have it, it will be worse. and usually the 2nd time is bad. no need to say about the 3rd time or whatever.

for today (saturday), the headaches seem to be alright, i don't feel it much. but i'm still tired. i just hope i'll be fine so that i could do all the stuffs i wanna do in peace.

god bless me please cuz i know my time isn't up yet.

self-conflict

2008-10-21T23:59:00.059+08:00

hello. so today was a tiring day. even though i slept for like 7 hours.

so, i ain't gonna talk about the details of what i face or not. just cut to the important stuffs i did.

today's mumi lesson, i saw the groupings, i was delighted. but then it changed. sigh. i don't know. i'm quite suddenly sadden or what. but i hope it'll change to something i want.

well, leave the emo part a little behind. and proceed on with the stuffs.

i ran with bro =) at the stadium today. for about 7 to 8 runs. (unsure, either 7 or 8) and so, it's quite tiring cuz it's twice in a row, and of course, my clothes are used quite a lot. haha. and then we went SPGG, swam, and enjoy jaccuzzi and sauna. BEST! =) of course, with bro duh.

then gratefully, alexandra sent me to a nearby busstop near aeem's house, so i could take a bus home! haha, it's quite good. gonna say she's a good driver. i don't feel like puking or whatever. very safe =)

yup, so i was trying to do the questionairre on the NS thingy. and so... i forgot my password. BOO! and guess what....

"STATUS"
SingPass : Forgotten
Password Recovery : I/C details
I/C card : LOST
Questionaire : A whole junk, haven't started.

best right? haha i'm gonna be dead. but i'm not emo about this. BUT!

it's the groupings. and of course, my management/relation between people. yes i'm playful (claimed by erica), but i'm only to that to a certain people. if any unfamiliar people, i'll die. BAD!

i just hope i don't land to some people i don't wish to be with.
ok, i admit myself.

i wanna be with bro, cuz we're working quite a lot of stuffs togehter, from POD to exercises, i trust him a lot.
I'M NOT GAY! i declare that first. haha. it's just that he's one of the best bros i ever had. best friend too, even if he doesn't think so, i'm just glad to enjoy his prescence nowadays.

today... we ate at pizza hut with abel azlan evan vera and bro.
was a bit sad cuz they left without realising i'm not around them. they took quite a while. sigh...
if i was in a group, i would try not to let anyone be left out. i would rather me be left out than anyone else. unless i don't like you lah, but no way la. i just hope i won't be left out, again.
esp. if you're meant somewhat to me, don't do that ah, please. at least lemme walk together with you all, and then leave me one side, but lemme be with you all. =)

i'm tired. i just hope to manage myself in mumi group tomorrow. hope to be with bro. =)

touching words

2008-10-20T21:29:00.043+08:00

hey. today was a nice day. nice. =)

besides from coming to school after 3 hours of sleep ONLY. and then slack a lot today. with azlan abel aeem and me. the Triple As and one R. yup.

then went to jog with aeem bro. i'm pleased with myself! i ran 7.5 ROUNDS! my speed is damn slow, seriously. ran for like 30mins or so. but it's fun la. get to talk while running. and exercise at the same time. =)

then went to SPGG and chiong bathe for 10 mins, cuz we went there late. so chiong, and cannot enjoy the sauna and jacuzzi. haha. then out to foodcourt 5!

and went to 7-11 and bought one small lemon drink. DAMN SOUR! damn nice! yummy! finally, SP got sell that drink! woo! even aeem says so!

then on the way back, i let aeem hear my rough POD2. he said it's quite Usher.

most importantly, he said this line, make me very touched. (aww)

"your composition are very nice" - touched me! (well, i think that's what he said.)
awwww........

i love ya bro. thanks.

ok, i go sleep soon! take care! bye bye!

end with this line.

"when someone you respect says nice stuff about you, you'll take it seriously, for my case, very seriously."

thanks bro. =)

emo time....

2008-10-19T04:15:00.051+08:00

so i spent my day slacking at home and it's well-spent!
you can surely sense the sarcasm here.

i've no idea. when i've heard that one line of words, i couldn't help but just to feel emo. and it just turn off my mood. and then i just feel like going to my bed. and then try to sleep but then i knew that i would just whine on my bed and maybe even tears out of my eyes. and so i did.

(fancy an old guy crying on bed)

it was 12am then. i couldn't sleep. thinking of the things that i would usually think off.

no one would listen to my stories. no one would listen to my "blood pumping machine" (in other words - heart). no one would just listen to me and whine about the stuffs that i feel like whining.... sigh.

or rather.

i've no one to confide all these bottled stuffs. i've no one who i can fully trust, and even if i wish to, there's no one would be willing to.

maybe it's just because i'm named ~~"Rex".~~ at every point of emo-ing, most people want to die. i'm not an exception. it's cuz the feeling of loneliness. it's like dejection from the world. where no one really cares whether you're rotting or suffering. i need someone that i could trust...

well, even if i could trust, that person might not be even willing to do so. sigh.
sometimes a hug or two might do the trick.

it's hard to be the same again, i guess. hugging are meant to be for "gays", that's what you guys said. then why are you doing it? doing in front of me but not me?

sigh, i'm sounding like some 3 year old baby, whining for all i care. give me the love....

it's late now, look at the time of this post. and i just don't feel like sleeping.

a hug from someone who meant somewhat to me....
will be dope. it'll be dope.