Rop Ferendez (Humanity)

EXPERIENCES

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Today I went to pray for my late grandparents. I don't feel like going but I feel like I have no other choice... Besides my mother's mother - my grandmother, the rest of my grandparents I have never seen before. She lived till I was 12. Everytime I went to her place, she would give each of us brothers $2. It was a huge amount back then, and we were very happy! Santa grandma. =) But we didn't really spend much time together, cuz we're not living in the same house.

Still, I wish her best for her afterlife, afterall she's my grandmother. I wish all good beings the best too. I hope Allah will forgive them for being supertitious, afterall, I believe some of them really hasn't encountered Islam at all. If they have a pure heart, please take them to paradise. =)
Talking about Supertitious, here's just some pictures to show how it's like.

~~~~~~

Envirionmental Friendly. The couples on the left were actually really burning a paper car.
It was so-called said that if you burn paper "items" for your late ones, they will receive in their afterlife.
So my words to them is.... If you don't like living in the world, you might as well go and die, and ask one of your relatives/friends to help you burn money cars ETC. You'll be better off there.

And here's another picture...

I held about 3 joysticks today. But I'm praying for my late ones, not to any other Gods. But this is what make me feel like not going to pray.

I can't stand the smell of this joysticks, right from the start. I guess that's why I don't even wish to be a monk when I was a kid. I can't participate even the retreat, cuz I have to shave botak and etc etc. I won't be able to stand it. Cuz simply, I don't like it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Some triads of Buddhism requires you to be a monk before you could practice buddhism. There are different sects of it. Whichever is true, who knows? And which can you explain which sect practices the purest Buddhism?

There's no religion that is comparable to Islam. (No offence, people, I'm just saying) Even though Islam is split to two different kinds, Sunni & Shi'a, we can clearly see which kind is the obvious pure one. However, we all shouldn't be split to different kinds, we're all from the same religion. We're all the same human beings, we're just a tiny human. We all should have something in common, nothing should seperate us which is our religion. We all should share the same religion. But guess what, religion is not suppose to be mentioned when you're conversating. Oh well, look at the world now...

~~~~~~~~~

Is there anyone, your relative, a relatively elder relative that you can admire them about? Well, look at all my aunts and uncles, there's only a few. Basically, One to Two. That's all.

Even the way they converse, the way the talk, the way they use their brains to talk makes me feel like as though "I shouldn't be related to them".

Comparing with others who has better uncles and aunties, sometimes I don't really know who to blame.

The only person I could blame is simply, me myself. By comparing yourself with others, will only make you miserable. I should be glad that I have aunties and uncles while some don't even have a close relative. Despite I don't really like them, I guess I can just collect red packets doing CNY! haha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the car, I had an arguement with my mom. What she said doesn't make any sense. And sometimes, I just don't wish to listen to them - my parents no more, and do what I ought I should be doing.

This brings me down to two options.

(1) Do anything, even if I have to break my own principles, to have my desire.
This option is saying that, I'll do whatever it takes to be one...

(2) Do a thing, sticking to my own principles, to have my desire.
This option... is that I will consider a lot of factors, where I have to think of win-win situations, just to be one.

or the last one.

(3) Wait till a better time.

But I don't want. I don't feel secure, as long as one day I'm not a Muslim, I will linger and weaver.

I'm a fallen leaf, I will keep falling till I have a suitable ground to stay on.
And I don't wish that ground to be something I don't want.

If I went for classes during that time... I would already be a Muslim now. And then I wouldn't fret on these problems.

But I'm not good with words, I can't convince my parents......

If someone else was me, I believe he will have more wisdom and knowledge and know how to tackle these problems, but he's not me. And thus I don't know how to convince my parents. Cuz to me... action speaks louder for word. Defintely. Just that my parents don't even want me to do any actions.

Which option???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lastly I would end off, soon. Sorry for the long post today, I just have a lot to say. Pardon me. =)

Aiza told me something that makes me happy, yet with a tinge of sadness with it.

I only went for religious class once, and saw this teacher - Ustaz Salleh. Though we didn't talk much, what I remembered was that I went up and handle the slides for a while. And after that, Aiza's revert makes us talk a bit more. But that's all. I didn't go back to the place. And that was like 3 months ago.

Aiza told me just today that he still remembers me, and asked about me. It's not really a big thing, but still, I'm touched that he still remembers me.

Heard from Aiza, Ustaz Salleh urge me to pursue my faith as soon as possible. And I want to, sadly I'm binded by other bonds.

I'm unsure of my next move, but I'm always delaying it with time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm still headstrong with my faith. I hope I will still be, insyaAllah.

peace people.

Labels: Faith, Relatives, Supertitious

Diary @ ~~4/08/2009 02:01:00 AM;~~