Rop Ferendez (Humanity)

EXPERIENCES

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

hi people. again -.-
right... my blog seems to be dead... not many nice souls remaining in my blog.. reading about my life and such... but still... hopefully to still get my frustation and happiness (if any) out of me...

all of you know i'm a buddhist... sorta... but i'm not really that devoted to it... a few reasons why i'm still there is probably my friends there... and of course... of the performing thing.... without any of these... i guess i would have just gone for good in the temple... but i'm glad sometimes i'm in the temple... know kinda good friends and i hope to keep it going... however... sometimes it's just pissing me off... and let me relate this to me and some...... argh... read on.

Vesak Day Celebration (17 May 2008)
i was the sound engineer at level 3, for the roadshow. it's quite random sometimes, no practices, no nothing, so everything is quite on the spot. for TWO hours, i'm over there alone. not saying it's a bad thing but, yeah i kinda like the way i do it. though some faulty mics and so on, i still do it for that TWO hours. and soon, other crew members came up to help. and happened, my dad is my boss. DUH~... "-.-" and so... he start blaming me for doing the thing wrong... that thing wrong... everything wrong... like i don't know any shit... and then... he start troubleshooting, and in the end, still put it such it was initially before, just exactly what i did. well, i'm not pissed by this though. he's my boss then, i understand, fine. i'm not angry at him or what though. so still moving on. more members = i can slack more. haha. yup. but still have to do some work. and it ended around 4pm. then i wanna rest cause 5pm, i have dance practice with my group of people. dad says no, ask me to help. but i see there's so many people helping, it makes no diff for me to help. too many hands = many mistakes. thus i went off for my break. lalala. today's practice was hell for me, and for them. not really, cause i was mad at some of their attitude though. after few weeks of practice, this is the first time i scolded this new people. haha, some of them were shocked though. anyway, ended the practice around 8pm where everyone still hasn't had their dinner. so had to dismissed them as well. yup and so, that's all for the day.

Vesak Day Celebration (18 May 2008)
woke up, bathed, brush teeth, and just use the comp. i dislike having breakfast so early (as in after waking up), so i just use the comp. then just to msn a while, friendster a while, then my dad just come to me, start saying, you know, you should have done this, done that, you must be fast. must be this must be that. hell -.- it's not these lectures that make me mad. it's.............
where's the love daddy? i helped you to do almost more than half a program alone, and still running here and there, hoping everything would be fine, and where's my big pat on my back? why are you just lecturing me for hell sake? you meant well for me, but, hello -.- you're questioning my professionalism, i'm studying this course and you think that i'm so dumb that i don't know any shit about what i'm studying. and everytime cause of something like this, i'll be super pissed and emo for the rest of the day. even until now, i'm pissed at you. i know that i should love my dad more, but, i've tried to give in. -.- guess that i shouldn't in the end. i don't know. i really don't know, whenever i think i'm like this, i want to know - "will my life be better withou him? or no?" anyways, thanks for a few friends of mine who did cheer me up in a way or two. so i shan't talk about this emo shit already.....
and so, continuing the day, after some cheering up from them, i still have to be the sound engineer for this day, and thankfully this day, i solo all the way. only until the end, my bro and gisy came and help a bit. and of course, thanks to glen who stay by my lonely side the whole way. =) and duh of course, when i see my dad, i'll just give that i don't know you face to him. i know it'll hurt him but, i don't wanna give in no more.... he's like, a very good boss, a good worker. but when it comes to being a dad, i've nothing to say. i've no idea why i'm proud to have a dad like him when he doesn't really in a sense, care about me (*in a sense*). if someone ask me why i'm proud of him, i think i could only say he's a music director. full stop. i can't go on and say, he loves me very much. i can't lie to myself. sigh... no idea why...
anyway proceed on, have to rush on for make up etc for the performance that night. and so yea, i'm quite glad everyone manage to pull it through. i like it that everyone did quite well. and of course, we had a phototaking that night. had fun doing so.
and then some of us, namely steven, chuankai, yuanfeng and i went to 201 and eat some prata, mutabark etc. then dern came to join us. well, was damn tired though, but glad we caught up somehow. haha. yeah. thankfully, this day of being a sound engineer, doing it kinda like a solo was fun, and somehow make me happy too. and of course, the dance and the food in the end. got home and maple a bit then sleep. long day. haha yeah...

Vesak Day (19 May 2008) ACTUAL DAY
yeah, guess what!? never go temple... so.... haha. 2x from 10am to 10pm for MAPLE~! but i never play, cause no map, was very sian, so i just spend like.. 6k cash on nothing. zzz, but still, i play on my other character. haha. tiring day though. played for 16 hours LOL~!! like godmode heh... yup anyway, whenever i see my dad... i'll -.- sigh..... anyway so late, gonna sleep soon. BLOG SO LONG~! -.- i guess all of you will sleep half way... but i'll end off soon, real soon.

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i've tried loving my parents more than i could, if you guys read my previous post. i could with my mama. but my dad?? i think it's a lot of guy's diginity.

oh god, when i have kids, i must... MUST MUST MUST... not have so much of that...
sigh... anyone can just...............
give me a sign of direction???

i don't wanna be emo.
make me happy =)
yes? no..... T_T
emo piece of junk = rex
Diary @ ~~5/20/2008 01:39:00 AM;~~